London restaurant reduces table-time to six minutes

Funny story written by Mark Merton

Sunday, 15 November 2009

image for London restaurant reduces table-time to six minutes
Nice meeting you table

A well-known restaurant in London has announced that the maximum time any customer could occupy a table in their establishment would be limited to six minutes from tomorrow, a huge three minutes shorter than the previous limit.

The manager of the restaurant Mr Thomas Poultry said that their restaurant caters for a "high level clientele with a sophisticated knowledge of ordering a meal".

Under the new rule of six minutes which starts when the first bottom touches a chair at the table, customers would be able to order their meal and to consume whatever is available on the table, usually salt, pepper, grissini sticks, and three black olives in olive oil. But they will have to vacate the table at the seventh minute and wait at the bar for their meal- pack to take away.

The manager has also announced a new option which would allow the customers to cancel their order and pay the cover charge only. A cover charge for two is set at £70 week days and £95 week-ends.

"That way our clientele would be able to experience the art of ordering at our restaurant without the burden of eating the meal. It is a highly coveted privilege to order a meal here. We proud ourselves in serving a connoisseur level of people, and they are never hungry like ordinary people anyway" said Mr Poultry.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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