Daniel Radcliffe Spotted With Adam Lambert
It was a Paparazzi wet dream seeing two of today's hottest stars having dinner together at a New York City restaurant Sunday. "We decided to have a meal together and talk some things over", stated Lambert. "And since neither of us give a crock who...
Read full storyPalin-Pelosi Sex Scandal Behind Gov's Resignation
Washington, DC is in a state of shock today due to the revealation that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin were caught with their pants down, so to speak, in a posh Georgetown hotel. The two were discovered by hotel detect...
Read full storyPresident Obama launches his own lingerie business
President Obama has once again broken with tradition and expectations and launched his very own designer lingerie label. O-"bra"-ma is a range of brassieres which the President says should bring to ladies' underwear what he has brought to politics...
Read full storyThe Dating Game #1
Every day we are bombarded with polls and surveys that inform us 'how many people there are in the world' and 'how many males there are' and 'how many females there are' and 'how many single males there are' and 'how many single females there are' and 'how many single makes there are looking for love' and 'how many females there are looking for love' and so in this occasional series we will look a...
Read full storyScientific Experiment
A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel. The exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure. Subsequently the second member of...
Read full storyPlan Your Doomsday In Style
You have probably heard the buzz.. Doomsday is only 3 years and few months away, and it is going to be single biggest cataclysmic event of all time. Worldwide ticket brokers are already raking in massive reserve customer for potential hotspots, such the entire state of California, and Coconut Springs, Hawaii. When the big day comes, be sure that you arrive in the best of taste and style by followi...
Read full storyRingo Wings Paul McCartney in Dual in the Desert
Las Vegas, Nv. - Former Beatles Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr were in town for a celebrity charity poker match to benefit down on their luck silver haired roadies when police said events got out of hand Tuesday at the Mirage casino. In the fina...
Read full storyTina Turner Calls Steady Date Chris Brown "A Mama's Boy"
Chris Brown, the 19-year-old R&B singer who is accused of attacking pop star girlfriend Rihanna and has recently been dating Tina Turner, has been calling Brown "Mama's Good Little Boy". "Chris knows I'm kidding because he can kick like a horn...
Read full storyErin Andrews Peephole Video Found In Samantha Ronson's Backpack
Los Angeles, CA - The lost DVD that supposedly shows Erin Andrews nude through a peephole has been discovered in music pimping, Lindsey Lohan loving woman/boy Samantha Ronson's backpack. The bag was discovered at a local Los Angeles wave pool which S...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Dumps Paula Abdul
HOLLYWOOD - An assistant to one of the producers of American Idol has stated that Paula Abdul will not be back for a ninth season of American Idol. Colleen Schembechler, 29, said that Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Kara DioGuardi have all been g...
Read full storyAstronauts put the "Final" touches on ISS "Space Porch"
Earth Orbit - Astronauts aboard the International Space Station (ISS) could hardly wait to put the final touches of their new extended platform dubbed, the "space porch" by adding a fly screen, lawn chairs and BBQ grill. "It gives the ISS that homely...
Read full storyCalifornia Has No More Money To Fight Forest Fires
SACRAMENTO - Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has informed the California Legislature that there is no money left in the Forest Fire Fighting Fund. The governor talking with beads of sweat forming on his forehead said that it is the most serious Cal...
Read full story"Twilight" TV Series!
Teen heartthrobs Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner are to guest on the opening episode of the new "Twilight" movie spin-off series "Daylight" when it hits TV screens next summer, CBS confirmed today. The series, to be produced by X-Files Chris...
Read full storyAl Qaeda Nutritionist Says America Is Killing Itself
Des Moines, IA - A nutritionist for Al Qaeda - those nasty muslim men, has stated that it is his firm belief that Americans are killing themselves with their diet and don't need any help from terrorists. Salaam Bal Aquami, former chef to the Presi...
Read full storyHot Dog Wienermobile Involved In Hit and Run
MOUNT PLEASANT, Wisconsin - The Mount Pleasant Police Department reported that the world-famous Oscar Meyer Wienermobile was involved in a hit and run accident. It seems that wienermobile driver Renwick Guggenheim of Muncie, Indiana was leaving Th...
Read full storyRunaway Weinermobile Crashes Into Trailer Park, Former President Slightly Injured
Sunday morning this sleepy little trailer park, Redneck Rollies Rollerbiles, in Redneck Valley, Tennessee was rudely awakened when the world famous Weinermobile lost control for the second time in three days and crashed into two trailers or mobile ho...
Read full storyTennessee Man Murders 6 After Losing His Entry Form In 'Redneck Games'
Nashville, TN - A 30 year-old Tennessee man has been arrested after going on a killing spree. The man, Jacob Shaffer, has confessed to killing 6 people who were, according to him, '...instrumental in a conspiracy of obstructing,' his entry into the '...
Read full storySelena Gomez Got a New BFF
Tween star sensation Selena Gomez is not far behind with the number of BFF's she had during the last few years.Setting on to become a good BFF this year, she just recently got a new boy BFF and it none other the hearthrob 'JOE JONAS'. Want t...
Read full storyTony Romo Has New Girlfriend: Octomom Kate Gosselin
Tony Romo, one week after dumping Jessica Simpson, has been seen with a new woman: Octomom Kate Gosselin. The Dallas Cowboy quarterback and the mother of sextuplets (and star of the reality series Jon and Kate Plus Eight) were spotted hand in hand a...
Read full storyFord stock soars as Chelfing Automotive announce takeover bid.
Ford's share price more than doubled today on the back of a speculative takeover bid by Japanese car giant Chelfing Automotive. Ford preferable preferential preference shares held steady at $5.60 for the 1st quarter of trading but spiked sharply t...
Read full storyPope Quits: Says One Billion Catholics Are Wrong
Pope Benedict resigned as Supreme Pontiff over one-billion Roman Catholics citing his desire to wed his long time valet, Augustus Longdongo. Vatican officials are in shock over the Pope's Sunday morning decision to resign. Papal Secretary of State...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Mother To Release A Blues Compilation
Los Angeles, CA - So far, perhaps the most devastated and distraught woman on the planet, Katherine Jackson, mother of the late entertainer, Michael Jackson, 'The King of Pop', has been keeping fairly quiet. All that is about to change however, as sh...
Read full storyScientist to Set Clocks by Megan Fox Breasts
Scientists studying the actress Megan Fox in the movie Transformers 2 have calculated that it is indeed possible to set the time to her jiggling breasts. The beautiful star's bountiful assets so impressed young, male heterosexual scientists that t...
Read full storyACORN Buys ACLU and Greenpeace
ACORN, the left wing organization that used voter registration fraud and strong arm tactics to help get Obama elected, has announced the purchase of two other terrorist organizations. The group is now the proud owners of the American Civil Liberties...
Read full storyAss Bandito Arrested In Theft of Senator's Posterior
Jorge Rafiella, 24, of Las Cruces, New Mexico, was arrested early today for the theft of Senator Robert C. Byrd's ass. New Mexico State Police, acting upon an annonymous tip, arrested Rafiella at the home of Isabella Spandau, Rafiella's maternal gra...
Read full storyIran's Rough Son Johnny in 'grave doubts' election jibe
Tehran - (Rioters): Former Iranian President Ali Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani has flamed protest about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's spurious general election results by voicing grave doubts about where all the bodies are buried. As the country's head of the...
Read full storyMystery Goo May Have Originated In Sarah Palin's Bathtub
Anchorage, AK - A giant mass of goo has formed in the waters off of Anchorage and is now moving through the Chukchi Sea in Alaska. It is believed that the goo may have originated from the town of Wasilla, Alaska, a result of a hair rinse experiment g...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Wasn't After Twilight Series Until He Met Kristen Stewart
News being sounded across the net Saturday was that Robert Pattinson had never heard of the Twilight books or that they were planning to turn them into movies, until he met Kristen Stewart. "I have to admit that all those rumors are true", stated...
Read full storyNew Art Film Probably Best Worst Film They've Ever Seen
New Art Film Probably Best Worst Film They've Ever Seen Apparently it's two big toes up for Warren Shitslogs as his new art movies had judges looking around at each other. "This is really, really bad said one..perhaps the worst I've ever seen.
Read full storyCarla Bruni to sing for all France's state guests from now on.
French First Lady Carla Bruni will from now on sing at official dinners her husband, President Nicholas Sarkozy, is to host for visiting heads of state and royals. "The decision was taken because of the great success of Carla's ... oops pardon...
Read full story"Entourage" cast wishes Zac Efron would just go away
HOLLYWOOD, California - Filming of an "Entourage" episode featuring Zac Efron was completed several agonizingly long weeks ago, but for some reason, the tween posterboy won't stop hanging around the set. Cast members of the popular series said the...
Read full storyPostpartum Depression Unveiled!
Without as of yet putting her hand on the Bible, yet to be sworn in Surgeon General Dr. Regina Benjamin nonetheless has already spearheaded a major breakthrough in women's health. Securing an advance on seed money provided by one of the many...
Read full storyAscot Racecourse New rule causes riots
There was a riot at Ascot racecourse yesterday under the most bizarre circumstances. New rules were brought in yesterday by the owners of Ascot racecourse that you could not use any of the toilets unless you were wearing a tie. A copy of the rule...
Read full storyStar Trek Convention chaos
There was absolute chaos at the Star Trek convention held in the USA on the banks of the Mississipi. All hell broke loose on the Enterprise river boat cruise when the character known as Khan blew a hole in the bottom of the boat and shouted "From Hells Hearth I spit at thee" A red alert was called and Kirk yelled out to Spock "we have got to save the ship do you hear me we have got to save the...
Read full storyJesus, Elvis, Jackson - The three kings
Jesus Christ, Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson all had one thing in common they were all called Kings and in every case their fame and notoriety lead to their early deaths. Jesus was crucified by the Romans and Elvis Presley and Michael Jacksons fame led to drug abuse the main factor in their early deaths. Jesus made a blind man see some of the things Elvis did you did not want to hear and...
Read full storyScarborough Fair not There
The seaside town of Scarborough on the east coast of England near York no longer has a Fair which most people visiting the town for a holiday think is not fair. Years ago Scarborough attracted thousands of visitors every year and the fair was ver...
Read full storyBlackpool Beach Ban
Councillors in Blackpool have banned fat kids from riding the donkeys on Blackpool Beach. Any fat children weighing 22 stone or more will not be allowed on the donkeys for health and safety reasons. This follows an incident last week when a child...
Read full storyHotel "Rubs Out" Three Italian Businessmen
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Authorities are questioning employees of a San Francisco hotel after three Italian businessmen were found shot to death, then rolled up in rugs and disposed of in a dumpster out back after they complained the hotel's dress code re...
Read full storySaving Money in Today's Economy
It would appear that when it comes to saving money these days, many Americans are finding it increasingly hard to do. The government is so busy bailing out the corporations that they don't have time to help John Q. Public. Therefore, we've got to come up with a plan to help ourselves in these less than healthy economic times. Fortunately, Americans are very creative when it comes to solving pro...
Read full storyGlenn Beck Leads Cult
New York - It was confirmed today that Glenn Beck is indeed the founder and questionably charismatic leader of the political group known as The Inconvenient Cult. When confronted, Beck admitted that the people who tune in daily to his broadcasts are...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Burn Video Released - Pepsi Surprised
New York, NY - Pepsi, the company whose drink Michael Jackson was advertising when his burst into flames, is surprised that the footage of the event has been released and did not know where it came from. Said a spokesman for the corporation, "We c...
Read full storyObama White House Bases Economic Recovery On Internet Searches
I was watching television earlier (the news on one of the networks). On the bottom was the little crawler that gives you the brief story snippets. One of those said something to this effect: The White House announced today evidence that the economic downturn has stopped and is starting to swing the other direction. They base this on the fact that 1/4 as many people have "Googled" the term "e...
Read full storyQueen's Royal Order: Bury the Grandkids with Me When I Go
In a shocking interview with the German magazine Der Spiegel, Queen Elizabeth has been quoted as saying it is her wish that Prince William and Prince Harry be buried with her when she dies. "They are truly lovely children, and I would miss them terri...
Read full storyErin Andrews Peephole Video Observations
Tampa, FL - The Erin Andrews Peephole video that is rumored to have made it to the internet may in fact be more disturbing than the 'Unknown Life Form In A North Carolina Sewer'. Witnesses of the video have stated that it contains very little of the...
Read full storySearch is Underway for Rich Americans
Washington DC: The Obama Administration has exhausted most of the "low hanging fruit" of rich Americans to pay for the Stimulus Package, TARP, Health Care Reform and Cap and Trade programs. Prior to any new round of socialist legislation being en...
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