Plan Your Doomsday In Style

Funny story written by Illusnist

Sunday, 19 July 2009

image for Plan Your Doomsday In Style
Additional seating is being provided for Doomsday attendees.

You have probably heard the buzz.. Doomsday is only 3 years and few months away, and it is going to be single biggest cataclysmic event of all time. Worldwide ticket brokers are already raking in massive reserve customer for potential hotspots, such the entire state of California, and Coconut Springs, Hawaii. When the big day comes, be sure that you arrive in the best of taste and style by following these simple tips:

Bring Plenty of Sunscreen

Many scientists have said that Doomsday could arrive in the form of increased sunspot activity, so be sure to bring sunglasses and a hat, and plenty of SPF500.

Dress Casual

Realistically, we all want to look our best for the end of creation as we know it, but casual dress will be much more comfortable, and let's face it, there's not going to be any tomorrow after the big event, so who are you trying to impress?

Be Prepared

Remember, this will be a combination indoor/outdoor event, but coolers, towels, and a blanket. Some people will want to watch the stars exploding in the skies, but others may want to watch the ball drop from home. Whichever way you choose, be sure to have the basic comforts nearby, including cold drinks and snacks for the kiddies.

Be Alert

In the face of the breakdown of society as we know it, crime is expected to be on the increase. If you are one of the billions of people worldwide who will be attending the event in person, remember to not carry more cash than necessary. While the events will be monitored by law enforcement officials around the globe, it is very important to note that this is a global phenomena, and the police can't be everywhere at once. Keep in mind, too, that it will also be their last day.

Arrive Early

As is the case with all worldwide cataclysms, the best parking will be at a premium. If you really want to get the best view, plan on starting out early, as hillsides and mountain top spots are selling expected to be claimed early. Attendance is expected to be near 100%, which is the highest turn out for a global disaster since the dinosaurs were wiped out 65 million years ago. Plan ahead and arrive early, and you can have a choice from among the top sites.

If we all use common sense, we can make the upcoming Doomsday the most exciting one ever. Televised coverage is expected to be higher than ever before in history, and all of the early predictions indicate that this will be the blowout spectacular that no one will want to miss.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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