Written by Asheville Jack

Sunday, 19 July 2009

image for Ringo Wings Paul McCartney in Dual in the Desert
Scene of the Dual in the Desert

Las Vegas, Nv. - Former Beatles Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr were in town for a celebrity charity poker match to benefit down on their luck silver haired roadies when police said events got out of hand Tuesday at the Mirage casino.

In the final hand only Paul and Ringo remained at the table in a winner take all Texas hold'um match. Ringo, short on chips, jokingly offered to throw in his wife, former movie star Barbara Bach, as part of the pot when Paul McCartney quickly accepted. "You know I've always had a thing for Barbara, even if she is getting on" Sir Paul said according to those in attendance. To which Ringo replied, "What do you mean 'getting on' you shitty little twit? At least she has both legs." The situation quickly went down hill from there as Paul won the final hand, Barbara and the pot.

A short time later Ringo, with a pair of pistols in hand, caught up to Paul in the casino parking lot as he was leaving with Barbara. "I've been dreaming of doing this since 1965," a grinning Ringo said as he tossed Paul a .22 caliber pistol, "Only in America," said Sir Paul, "the land of opportunity. And this is one opportunity I don't intend to pass up" as he gave Barbara a squeeze around the waist.

Within seconds shots rang out, and Paul McCartney was clutching his shoulder in pain. "Damn, that stings," said Paul as Ringo grabbed his wife away and drove off. Paul, ever the good sport said, "I guess he won the final hand after all. It goes to show that things tend to even out over time. I may be the better musician, but he's definitely the better shot."

No charges will be filed at this time according to Las Vegas Police Chief Elmer Clutch.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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