Obama White House Bases Economic Recovery On Internet Searches

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Sunday, 19 July 2009

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If you voted for them, you deserve this.

I was watching television earlier (the news on one of the networks). On the bottom was the little crawler that gives you the brief story snippets. One of those said something to this effect:

The White House announced today evidence that the economic downturn has stopped and is starting to swing the other direction. They base this on the fact that 1/4 as many people have "Googled" the term "economic recession" than in the previous month.

That was it. That was the evidence that the depression/recession is over: Google searches!

Are you kidding me? This is the basis for saying that things are turning around?

If fewer people Google the term "Michael Jackson's Funeral," does this mean that he is not dead and is still molesting little boys in California?

If more people Google "Global Warming," does this mean that Gore is right, regardless of what the evidence shows (and the fact that we had the coldest winter of the last 110 years just six months ago)?

Three years ago, the most popular internet search pictures were of pop-tart Britney Spears when she got out of a limo and wasn't wearing any panties. If no one Google's "Britney Spears' Naked" this week, does this mean that she actually put her clothes back on?

It is the same logic.... (well, lack of logic).

This is Doublespeak, pure and simple (read George Orwell's masterpiece 1984 if you are unfamiliar with the term). It is another part of the dumbing down of America.

At this rate, a successful usage of "The Think System" of Professor Harold Hill (introduced in Merideth Wilson's famous play: The Music Man) will probably be the next solution to our Government's problems.

I can't see the morons that elected him even believing this garbage, but.... it was announced on the national news by a major network!

I hope this honeymoon ends soon. I want some real and honest reporting before he finishes destroying the Bill of Rights and our Freedoms of Speech, Religion, Commerce, and the Right to Bear Arms.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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