Ford stock soars as Chelfing Automotive announce takeover bid.

Funny story written by Fergus McCarthy

Sunday, 19 July 2009

image for Ford stock soars as Chelfing Automotive announce takeover bid.

Ford's share price more than doubled today on the back of a speculative takeover bid by Japanese car giant Chelfing Automotive.

Ford preferable preferential preference shares held steady at $5.60 for the 1st quarter of trading but spiked sharply to $9.20 just after lunch before going on a roller coaster ride closing end of day at $11.73.

Chelfing's cash bid of $4.20 is seen as an opening gambit in a corporate battle that many analysts believe could become a long drawn out and protracted series of bid and counter bid, should a 3rd party throw their hat into the ring with a higher offer.

Bisek Giddur (C.E.O. Chelfing Automotive) disagrees.

"They can all Fuck off! We've offered $4.20 for the company because that's what we believe it's worth, all this talk of ten and eleven dollars a share is a load of old bollocks.
The most I'll go is a fiver and that's for the whole company, not $5 per share."

Chelfing Automotive are no strangers to controversy and Giddur makes no apologies for company policy which involves using real people as "Crash test dummies and questionable optional extras such as "Koala skin" car seat coverings.

We pay our people well and cover all their medical bills, It's not like we force all of them to do it. Our Koala's are raised on large eucalyptus plantations in South Australia where they can roam free and happy until they are big enough to be gassed, skinned, dried and graded."

More information about Chelfing Automotive can be found by using an internet search engine and your own initiative.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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