All New Entertainment Gossiper 4
Barack Obama attended his first parent-teacher conference at his daughters' school Friday evening and liked everything he heard about his girl's testing results. The teacher said both girls are already reading and doing math at higher level than Pres...
Read full storyNursing Homes Bracing For Influx Of Cosmetic Surgery Recipients
Cosmetic surgery has become increasingly popular over the past few decades, and as the number of people having procedures done has risen, so has the average age of those having such work done. But even the most extensive procedures can only hold the...
Read full storyImages chosen for Blair's Congressional Gold Medal gong
London - (Arselicking Mess): Ex UK Prime Monster Tony Blair's devotion to fellating The Ancient American Order of the Skull 'N' Bones organised crime cartels is to be recognised in a series of iconic cold war images on his Congressional Gold Medal.
Read full storyAndy Murray Beats Rafael Nadal Severely
Police in Abu Dhabi are looking into abuse allegations after British no.1 tennis star Andy Murray was said to have beaten Rafa Nadal severely in their match here last night. Murray won the tussle 6-4, 5-7, 6-3, but afterwards, it has been claimed,...
Read full storyInterview with a stormtrooper
Interviewer: I am joined by ex-lackey of the Empire. So since the downfall of the Empire what have you been up to? Stormtrooper: Travelling mostly, I've been trying to find a planet called Earth. Interviewer: You're on Earth now, and what do you mean trying to find this planet? Stormtrooper: Give me a cheeseburger and I'll tell you. Interviewer: No. What did you do during your travels?...
Read full storyBush Assigns the Failing Conversion to Digital TV to Pat Robertson and the 700 Club
As the government of Bush-Cheney runs out of money for everything from food stamps to postage stamps, the conversion from analog to digital television signals has proven to be one in a million Bush failures. In an effort to rescue the back sliding ,...
Read full storyOn Line Poker more popular than God and Sex in Vatican City
Vatican spokesman Monsignor Fabrizio 'The Stone' Sachetti has sparked a war of words following allegations of on line gambling addictions amongst Vatican City clergy. Monsignor Sachetti has lived in the Papal enclave for 34 years and has se...
Read full storyStamps Show Great British Designs
Iconic British designs are featured in a new set of stamps that the Royal Mail brought out today. The first stamp has a picture of supersonic airliner Concorde, as it crashes magnificently into the ground near Paris. 'Concorde summed up British de...
Read full storyAstonishing wireless electricity unveiled
Scientists have developed the technology to connect electrical appliances to a mains supply without using cables and wires and an incredible spin off will be a 65% reduction in electricity usage that could help save the earth from global warming.
Read full storyObama Team Seeks Recount of November Vote
After a failed bid to delay the Jan. 20th inauguration, President-elect Barack Obama's transitional team has raised questions about the validity of the Nov. 4th election results, and has demanded a recount in several key states. "It appears ther...
Read full storyMore from Celebrity Big Brother. Thug Christian Beats Little Verne
Mancunian Bully Terry Christian is again in trouble tonight after an unprovoked attack on fellow housemate Verne Troyer. It is thought that the incident began by Christian showing off to impress self confessed 'Tory Bird' Lucy Pinder. A spokespers...
Read full storyHarry Potter Named to Obama Cabinet
Citing the growing economic crisis, President-Elect Barack Obama today named Harry Potter to a key position in his cabinet. Potter will serve as Deputy Secretary of Commerce. "We need change in Washington," said Obama as he announced the selection...
Read full storyThousands of WMDs Found on Miami Highway: Rumsfeld Called Back to Evaluate!
Miami, Fl/ Homeland Security Briefing (Code RED) - In a startling find just hours ago, Fl. state police found thousands of discarded Weapons of Mass Destruction littering a little used highway leading to this Sun Drenched, Spanish Speaking Playground...
Read full storyPM To Become Nudist
British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has announced his New Year's resolution to become a nudist. "The naturist lifestyle has always appealed to me personally," he explained, adding, "But it is also a green issue as, by wearing less clothes, I wil...
Read full storyPhone Apps Deployed in War
The U.S government have announced that, due to the recession and the need for urgent spending cutbacks, cheaper weapons will be deployed in the Middle East. An anonymous source reports that the government is musing over contracts for iphones that...
Read full storyNew Dr Who is not going to be Matt Smith!
Despite the recent announcement that Matt Smith is to be the new Doctor Who, the corporation have now retracted the statement and confirmed that the new Dr Who will in fact be Abu "Hook" Hamza. An apology has been issued to all viewers regarding t...
Read full storyAnother Jimmy Carter Legacy: Free Homes Built on Dump Now Ready for DEMO!
Fairway Oaks/Swamp Land, Fl./ American Builder Magazine - A subdivision built in 17 days spearheaded by former President Jimmy Carter, financed by Hollywood Liberals, and built by A-List Volunteers is ready to be recycled due to shoddy planning and...
Read full storyHummingbird Back At Granny Lungsfords
Morgan Ridge resident Grandma Joleen "Jolly" Lungsford, 81, announced Tuesday that a hummingbird, which she has reported seeing on multiple occasions in the past several weeks, was back at the birdfeeder outside her kitchen window. "My little frie...
Read full storyGMC looks to metric system to boost SUV sales
Faced with slumping SUV sales and new EPA fuel efficiency requirements, GMC has recertified many of their SUVs with an all-new KMPG rating. A spokesman said the increased efficiency shown in these new ratings will speak for itself. "With the gaud...
Read full storyCar manufacturer courts controversy with new ad campaign
Swedish car manufacturer Vulva is placing an edgy series of ads in top magazines around the world to tout their legendary safety record. Ad team spokesman says he realizes the ads may be controversial, but that, much like with the 2-4 year age group,...
Read full storyFacebonk faces thousands of protesters
The worldwide social utility Facebonk has recently come under fire for deleting photos of women from its site. As a result, thousands of users have protested, on the site itself and in person at Facebonk's headquarters in Follow Malto, California.
Read full storyMysterious disappearance of man: vending machine a suspect
Police in Stockholm, Sweden, are investigating the mysterious disappearance of a man while presumably using a local vending machine. Officer Sven Larrsen of the Police Department in the capital said that the 45 year old individual seemed to just...
Read full storyWorld's Tallest Building Wins World Record
Throughout recorded history, whenever someone's won a war or where there's been an economic boom and a brief period of fickle confidence, or a major pick up on a National Lottery roll-over, there have been tall pointless structures erected to mark su...
Read full storyIpswich Town To Be Thrown Out Of FA Cup?
Ipswich Town, who yesterday beat Chesterfield in the 3rd round of the FA Cup, are this morning the subject of an FA investigation after it was revealed that they may have fielded an inelligible fan. Chesterfield were only involved in the game as a...
Read full storyCelebrity Big Brother Latest. Ulreka pregnant again
Ex-weather girl and Vic Reeves stooge Ulrika Jonsson, has fallen pregnant again within hours of entering the Big Brother house. Production staff at the show are amazed by self confirmed sex addict Ulrika's fast work. One unconfirmed source said:...
Read full storyCowell Delighted as UK's Final Non-celebrity is Found
The UK's final non-celebrity has been found, living an unassuming life in an ex-mining village in South Yorkshire. TV production companies had long suspected that there was at least one 'talent' that remained undiscovered and months of painstaking re...
Read full storyTrump's Brilliant Birth Control Brainstorm (or braindrizzle)
An aide nervously enters President-reject Trump's office. "Sir, there appears to be a problem with the birth control bill you're planning on pushing before Congress when you get re-elected." "Oh, now what?" complained the once jovial, no…
Read full storyYou Can't Eat That! - Employers to Police your lunchbox
In a joint operation, the first ever of its kind, DEFRA, and the NHS along with the Food Standards Agency and the Health and Safety Executive are about to unveil their latest barmy plans. A a time when the credit crunch is crippling UK businesses,...
Read full storySatan Endorses Gaza Bombing, Invasion
JERUSALEM (FMLiveWire) - In a surprise appearance, Satan materialized in the Knesset here on Monday and endorsed the Israeli bombing and invasion of Gaza, to thunderous applause from legislators. "This genocide is great stuff," chortled Satan. "Yo...
Read full storyBig Boy Sues Blagojevich for Copyright Infringement
Chicago, IL- There seems to be no end in sight to Ilinois govenor Rod Blagojevich legal woes. In addition to charges that Gov. Blagojevich attempted to auction off Barak Obama's vacant senate seat and accusations of shaking down a variety of chari...
Read full storyGirls Aloud Are Crap Says 60's R&B Legend
60's R&B legend Nellie Cricket today launched an astonishing attack on female singers and girl bands by stating uniquivocally that "they're all crap." Nellie Cricket, a legendary R&B vocalist who worked clubs and pubs in the Kidderminster...
Read full storyUnited Nations to Move Headquarters to Gaza
New York, NY: The Secretary General of the United Nations (UN) announced today that their world headquarters will be relocated from New York City to Gaza. Hamas has offered the UN a choice piece of tax free real estate and recently remodeled build...
Read full storyMadonna Sized Pot Holes Swallow US Autos Big Three
With the fall of gas consumption in the US market, tax revenue based on methane emission have fallen drastically. Pot Holes the size of little grand canyons and reminiscent of great star Madonna's erumph have surfaced below the surface of US road...
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