Despite the recent announcement that Matt Smith is to be the new Doctor Who, the corporation have now retracted the statement and confirmed that the new Dr Who will in fact be Abu "Hook" Hamza.
An apology has been issued to all viewers regarding the mistake.
Currently starring in "At Her Majesty's Pleasure" at Belmarsh Prison, Mr Hamza was said to be delighted to have the opportunity of being the first Dr Who to take Jihad across the galaxies.
He said that when he was first offered the part, he declined because of the programme's association with the potentially "infidelic" world of entertainment. However, he reassessed his decision when a fellow thespian from Belmarsh pointed out that the first three letters of his name 'Hamza" weren't exactly 'kosher'.
The programme's producer, Sue Ehsidle had her own initial misgivings about Mr Hamza taking on such a major television role. Her major area of concern was the potential for Mr Hamza's hook to get caught in the delicate machinery within the tardis, his possible lack of agility with the sonic screwdriver or the remote chance he might find Billie Piper in the slightest state of undress.
However, these misgivings were dispensed with when the correlations between Mr Hamza's former life and those of the average Dr Who script were compared. For example, it was found that Mr Hamza would be very empathetic with some storylines where the supreme Dalek, Bur Kah, is clad from head to toe in black and gold with no human features visible, and runs amok repeating "Exterminate. Exterminate" in an altogether very programmed fashion.
