Spoof writer predicts American protectionism will prevail at Oscars - Brad Pitt will win Best Actor for dreadful "Ben-Butt".
LOS ANGELES - USA: Obama won; now America wants to get back on the world stage, "Buy American" protectionism is the mantra of the recession. And every Hollywood has-been wants to have their say. Enter the Oscars - described by a lisping P. Issdo...
Read full storyDecent - It's the New Black!
New York - Have you been to the world's best Carnegie deli?Have you ever eaten at Grimaldi's, a.k.a the world's best pizza? What about Per Se and there reasonably priced $300 fixed menu with the Best Sushi on the planet? Well if your taste buds are looking for a break from the best, Check out Artie & Jason's Decent Sandwiches. That's right. We don't claim to be the world's best, we don'...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Says She's Not "Too Close" To Dad
Miley Cyrus doesn't like to admit it, but she's bothered by people who think that she and her dad, singer Billy Ray Cyrus, are "too close or too cuddly." "That's just stupid", stated Cyrus. "Those magazines have to come up with something to print...
Read full storyObama Ousts Vegas In New Tea Drinking Ad!
Boston, USA. - Tea Drinking for America Now (TDAN) - the largest tea drinking advocacy campaign - launched a new television ad today in the Boston area while Congress was back in town for it's latest jaked tanned session. The ad is designed to pr...
Read full storyE-E-T NEWS: A-Rod Knows Tic-Tacs, Middle School Beat Down More Than Dow Jones And Amy Fisher Advises Kids
(New York-NY) Yours truly Ed "E." is feeling the pressure at work. Can you believe it, me? We've cut down. I was told that we need to do more with less. Or as my Boss said, "In your case, less with even less." So with the added hours and as you loyal...
Read full storySex Offenders to have Knackers Smacked with Wooden Gavel
In the first of several attempts to gain the high ground on Law and Order issues, a Conservative Think Tank has suggested that rather than send sex offenders to jail, the result of which they claim, is high cost to the taxpayer with dubious correctiv...
Read full storyUgly Scenes As Bailiffs Denied Entry To Downing Street
Westminster - Ugly scenes this afternoon when a group of burly men arrived in a furniture van at the gated entrance to Britain's most famous cul-de-sac. Metropolitan Police officers on security detail told the burly, leather jacketed bling encrust...
Read full storyUgandans Dress Like English Gents On Kampala Rubbish Dumps
Charitable British people are been urged to consider the environment before discarding unwanted clothing to collectors, after it has emerged that the clothes don't always end up as charity donations. According to a government report, at least one...
Read full storyNeeds A Spoof Writer For Motivational Speech
Dear Spoof, This is Wiley Berry and I live out on the Huntsville Road in Montgomery County. Would you run this letter in the Letters To The Editor of your fine internet magazine? Our salesmen have had a lot of trouble selling their hemorrhoid cream over the past six months and I was wondering if any of your fine humorists would come here in Altoonaville to do a motivational speech and get...
Read full storyObama Bhoy Joy!
Ibrox Stadium, Glasgow. - On Saturday, 28th February, 2009, the blessing of Barack Obama's new presidency by Pope Benedict XVI will be transmitted live to giant TV screens direct from the Scotland vs Italy six nations rugby fixture at Murrayfield.
Read full storySF Gives Thumbs Down To Hetero Pride Day
San Francisco, Ca - City authorities here in San Francisco today torpedoed proposals for a Heterosexual Pride Day and parade to take place in the city. City Mayor, Chalfont C Yoghurt refused to be drawn by reporters on the reasons for the refusal,...
Read full storyThe Amazing 1993 Honda Civic Can Do 137 MPH!
A man in Greenville, New York was clocked by state police driving his 1993 Honda Civic at 137 MPH. The man was ticketed by a super vigilant traffic cop for speeding and driving recklessly. This is not the first time the man has got such great...
Read full storyOld Mexico - The Land of Pinatas, Tequila, Tamales, Bullfights, and Warring Drug Cartels
The drug violence in Mexico has escalated to epidemic proportions. Shootings between the warring drug cartels have become a daily occurrence. Local police, state police, and Federal police are not having any impact on the violent situation at all...
Read full storyFailure of moral compass may have lead to Browns ditching the economy into the North Sea
The British economy was forced to ditch in the North Sea, billions of pounds short of its destination platform. The pilot, Gordon Brown claimed that he was responsible only for the flight during "good economic conditions" and that "global economi...
Read full storyNew Atlantis sighting 'is pre-Lemurian UFO airport runway'
Atlantic Ocean - (Grateful Dead Sea Scrolls Mess): Thames Estuary Airport backers are elated at reports that an Atlantean 'grid of streets' captured on satellite may be a 'pre-Lemurian UFO airport runway' and not the remains of the fabled ancient Cit...
Read full storyWTF: Jack Straw to give Jade Goody dream wedding night?!
London - (Shilpa Shitty Nightmare Mess): Media sources are worried cancer-stricken reality tv contestant Jade Goody 'is being screwed over' by UK Justice (sic) Secretary Jack 'Man of' Straw's guarantee that she 'won't have to spend her wedding night...
Read full storyFBI Director Hoover Investigated Hollywood Lobbyist For Being Gay
In a release under the Freedom of Information Act, longtime Hollywood lobbyist Jack Valenti was among the Washington figures whose sex lives were secretly investigated by the FBI in the 1960s. Valenti, who died in April 2007, was a special assista...
Read full story"Obama's wife has nothing on my Sarah!" rants Gordon Brown
...or rather that should be, compared to Mrs Obama, Sarah Brown has nothing on. Michelle Obama is the cover girl for the March edition of fashion magazine 'Vogue'. This will only be the second time an American First Lady has taken the place of a...
Read full storyNuclear sub was delivering chips
The Commander of Le Triomphante, a French SNLE-NG class nuclear submarine, had visited Blackpool on holiday, where he had tasted the well-known English delicacy, fish and chips. After his first bite of a real English chip he was heard to say "Mon Die...
Read full storyNTSB Blames Obama for Pilot Error in Crash of US Economy: Relied on Auto Pilot Instead of Hands On Control During Crisis!
Washington, DC/ Aviation News - In a scathing report released today, the National Transportation and Safety Board, put the blame for the tragic crash of the US Economy squarely on the shoulder of the Stimulus Pilot; Barack Obama. Driving straight...
Read full storyMichael Phelps Has The Munchies
A stunned and disheveled swimming gold medalalist,Michael Phelps sat munching on chicken wings, potato salad , chips,yogut and spam balls while being interviewed by yours truly, MsTerri. MsTerri: Michael why on earth did you take a hit on a bong and jeopardize your career? Michael: I was stupid.::chomp::I was dumb, ::chomp:;chomp:: I was, pass the chips please..! MsTerri: Do you think thi...
Read full storyProps From Ernie Kovacs, Frankenstein's Bride Part Of Dallas Auction
Props used by 1950s television comedian Ernie Kovacs, including a gross of whoopie cushions, 25 joy buzzers, 5 black-eye producing telescopes and eyeglasses with images of eyes on the lenses, are being sold this weekend by a Dallas collectibles aucti...
Read full storyBarack Obama replaced by a pointing finger
US President Barack Obama was today replaced by a pointing finger. Speaking at a press conference in Washington DC, the finger said: 'As Mr Obama was doing nothing else except pointing and smiling, and sometimes waving, it was felt that a finger m...
Read full storyGovernment 'unaware' of Marmite
The Foreign Office has denied allegations that British Prisoners at Guantanamo Bay were subjected to Marmite. The use of Marmite is banned under the Geneva Convention as a cruel and unusual punishment, so any idea that the government has been awar...
Read full storyBurglar Injured After Pants Fall Down While Running Into Fireplug
Authorities in Atlanta, Georgia reported that a burglary suspect was literally caught with his pants down while trying to run away with his loot. A deputy responded to an alarm at a convenient store early Thursday morning and reported seeing a 41-...
Read full storySports Drugs Furore
University sports scientists have discovered that athletes can radically improve their performance by using illegal drugs. They say that when compared to athletes that have not taken them, the drug users showed an average improvement of 9%. "When...
Read full storyAnne Geedes Chosen for Official Obama Portrait
Washington - Children's photographer Anne Geedes easily beat out the competition to be selected to do the official portrait of President Barrack Huesien Obama. The portrait, which hangs in all government offices, is a much coveted and sought after ho...
Read full storyMax Clifford doesn't take on a client
Public relations supremo Max Clifford today shocked the media world today, when he actually refused to take on a client, on the grounds that the person who approached him was an obnoxious human being. Speaking from his office in London, he said: '...
Read full storyThe Queen to play with Manchester United FC
In a unprecedented move, Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,spiritual head of the Church of England and defender of the Faith, has been signed to a two year contract with English Premier League glamour side Manchester United Football Club, with an...
Read full storyPoliticians Ignoring Polygamy
The idea that British Politicians were ignoring polygamy was reinforced today when it became clear that although Conservative MP Monty Bedwetter claims expenses for a wife in Kings Lynne and another in Thetford, he actually spends most of his time in...
Read full storyRail empoyees refuse new uniform
Employees on the West Line between London and Edinburgh have complained to their union over the new uniforms they have been provided since GNER lost the West Line contract to Playboy. The new uniforms are in keeping with the traditional Playboy im...
Read full storyPrimary Education 'Deficient'
Children in England are getting a 'deficient' primary education, according to a report released today by the Cambridge Primary Review. According to the report, primary schoolchildren are having far too much of their time and attention focused on '...
Read full storyWarrington train station introduces "No Kissing"
Warrington train station in Warrington has got so tired of trains being delayed by amorous lovers that they have introduced a "No Kissing" zone on all their platforms. This is not the first such restriction placed on passengers at this old Victori...
Read full storySaving for the American Dream
So as two pretty penniless med students in love but years away from any semblance of financial security with loans way up both our asses, we decided to take up my future mother in law's invitation to live as one of the boarders in her Boston rooming house so we could save enough money for a place of our own. Vanessa, my girlfriend's Chinese mother is the kind of person who delivers Reiki massages...
Read full storyOctuplets Mom To Have Her Own Reality Show
HOLLYWOOD, California - The 33-year-old California woman who recently gave birth to octuplets has announced that she will have her own reality show. A Fox Network executive confirmed that the unmarried mother will soon begin starring in her own sh...
Read full storyGordon Brown - "Jade Goody is the People's Princess"
The Prime Minister Gordon Brown took time off running the economy yesterday to comment on the latest news about Jade Goody. He came out of Number 10 and spoke to waiting journalists. "The whole of our country, all of us, will be in a state of shoc...
Read full storyBritish car-makers to get bail-out
British car makers have yesterday been promised a vital fiscal stimulus by the government. "We are desperate, and this will be a lifeline" said a spokesman from Armstrong-Siddeley, who are busy building the "Flying F" saloon for Government use. "This...
Read full storyPope Declares Jihad Type War On Islamic Fundamentalists?
Vatican City - Rumours are circulating here in the Holy square mile that the pope has finally "had it up to here with those Islamic fundamentalists and their extremist teachings." According to a reliable witness we met on the banks of the Tiber, j...
Read full storySpooflin's Provide 11 Jobs At Revolutionary Conceptual Holiday Camp
The long awaited Spooflins Holiday Camp/Resort will open next week, this reporter can finally reveal. The facility squats uncomfortably in the shadow of the giant Fawley oil refinery near Southampton, yet despite this, boasts stunning views of the...
Read full storyWhen The Fires Stopped - Episode Two of the Apocalyptic Drama
When the fires stopped - Episode 2 (please see previous episodes) The howling was not loud, or overbearing. It was subtle, which made it all the more chilling. It was a Kawil, a Mayan lord of blood. They are a nasty creature with an Obsidian mirror embedded in an equally black forehead. The Kawil stole faces from fierce animals and often was seen with a wolf or bear snout. It always had...
Read full storyJack Tweedy Calls For £6.7 Billion Bailout - Or The Wedding's Off
Deadline: The Fighting Cocks Inn, Annit, Herts. - In a hastily called press conference at this quite frankly skanky pub, convicted felon Jack Tweedy showed off his ankle tag to assembled press personnel before getting down to the real nitty gritty.
Read full storyAbstinence Only Education program to be Eliminated
President Barack Obama announced today that he will eliminate former President Bush's Abstinence Only Education program and begin a new "Getting Laid is Cool" program. "We will never eliminate the desire for sex", Obama stated during a news confer...
Read full storyCliff Maxford To Represent Yorkshire Ripper?
Central London, an office overlooking a Starbuck's. Probably - This spoof reporter today met up with an insider from Cliff Maxford's PR empire who informed us that, Yorkshire Ripper Peter Scroteliffe had made 'certain undisclosed propositions' to the...
Read full storyBritney Spears Invents Bra Phone-Holder, Lingerie Company Interested
In what sounds like a slam-dunk, sure-fire thing, an idea by Britney Spears and a top lingerie company are hammering out a multimillion dollar deal for her to endorse a new line of sexy, lacy bras for plugged-in babes. The new bras will be featu...
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