Rail empoyees refuse new uniform

Funny story written by IainB

Friday, 20 February 2009

image for Rail empoyees refuse new uniform
Playboy's suggested replacement uniform

Employees on the West Line between London and Edinburgh have complained to their union over the new uniforms they have been provided since GNER lost the West Line contract to Playboy.

The new uniforms are in keeping with the traditional Playboy image; Playboy Vice President for Rail Transport, Larry Heffner (no relation), believes them to be eminently practical for the day to day business of running a rail line.

"It's true that we've had an attrition of male employees not wishing to wear the micro-skirt, but some have stayed on," Heffner said. "The major objections have come from the female members of staff, who believe the uniforms to be too revealing. This is just ridiculous. We've worked in conjunction with the people at Versace to design these uniforms to make them practical for a train, such as lowering the height of the ears, and making the bunny tails out of an easy clean cotton."

Hugh Onion, of the Rail Transport Union, has submitted the major objections to the new uniform.

"Imagine being a forty-year old trolley pusher navigating a trolley full of food and drink past Glasgow Celtic supporters on the 11.15, whilst tottering on four inch heels. Especially if you're a man. It's just not on."

Apparently, the largest complaint from staff is the uniform's 'blouse' which consists of a collar, a bow tie and nothing else.

"It is a little revealing," said Heffner.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot