Written by mamad

Monday, 3 August 2009

image for Celebrities Gain Weight Too - Deliciousness Blamed

Emerging research suggests that celebrities, as well as ordinary people, may pack on the pounds.

The evils of deliciousness, widely observed and deplored in everyday, as well as star-studded life, torment almost everyone with only a few notable exceptions represented by the Olson twins and Nicole Ritchie; noted starvation addicts.

These barely breathing lessons to humanity, immune as they are to the evils of the delicious conspiracy, all together weigh no more than your average dessicated infant skeleton. While we must all take them as role models, bowing to their superior deliciousness immunity, I digress.

The many tragedies of celebrity weight gain are well documented in multiple journals widely available in text and, even more horribly, picture. Leading economists, weighing in on the problem, are quick to note that the phenomenon is partially responsible for the recent rebound in the world economy, supporting as it does, the journals, their contributors and the weight loss industry itself. This, in short, means well-paying jobs.

Charting the growth in the revenues enjoyed by these entrepreneurs, ethicists are forced to marvel at the resources spent to avoid consuming calories; an end which could easily be achieved by buying less food and eating less of it. Such is the true marketing genius of the weight-loss/tabloid complex, a point which is lost on these ivory tower intellectuals.

Anti-trust agencies in the United States are examining possible illegal ties among members of the complex.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Celebrities, weight

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