Nyan O'Reel, star of many memorable movies of which very few people can remember the title, plot or cast, has triumphed in a career - enhancing PR stunt.
His stunning blonde daughter, Tomatum (19), threw her arms around him just as her stepmother's coffin was making its final journey "behind the curtain" and Mr O'Feel, 78, responded as only a father can.
"Wow, those are firm" exclaimed Mr O'Feel, with feeling, as his nubile daughter's thrusting, upturned young breasts impacted upon his well - developed moobs, "Are we related"?
"Daddy" shrieked Tomatum as her protuberant nipples detached themselves from her father's jacket with a sibilant, ripping thrill, "Don't you know me"?
"Tomatum" her errant father cried "I haven't seen you since I stopped bathing you on your 18th birthday - where have you been"?
"Why Daddy - you remember that nice Mr McEnroe, the tennis vandal - well, we got married! This was just after I starred in Paper Moon and won an Oscar at age 10! Don't you remember, Daddy"?
"Of course I remember! I don't remember the movie - or McEnroe - but I do recall the lovely times we had in the snow"!
"Shucks Daddy" responded Tomatum, "Did you have to bring up that old drugs bust at a funeral"?
Mr O'Feel's agent insisted that he had an urgent appointment for his client at a Spongebob Squarepants voiceover audition that was the first step in a strategy to bring Nyan Oreole back to his rightful place in the pantheon of Hollywood leading men and led him away.
