ROCKWOOD, PA-- PETA, and the rest of the "scientific" turd for brains asswipes who say that dairy farming is degrading to bovines and produces nothing but bull shit and methane gas that destroys the ozone can relax their tight asses, if that is at all possible.
Shawn Saylor, a self described science "nutter," spent one-million dollars developing a use for all the cow patties his dairy herd produces. His payback: two-hundred grand per year!
"We built this contraption that scrapes all the cow pies into a bin, heats the shit up, and produces methane gas that we then burn to produce electrical power for the farm," the proud tinkerer told TheSpoof.com's Science and Technology Editor BuckWheatsButt.
"We had to find something to do with all the shit," Saylor said. "So, I read up in several science magazines and learned about anaerobic digestion."
According to Pennsylvania University (PU) Feces Fun Facts spokesperson, Ron Paul XVIII, "Anaerobic digestion became popular in United States in 1970s."
"The residue left over from the process is sold to gardeners and also used to bed down farm animals," Saylor said. Another benefit of the digestor is that the odor is considerably reduced. "The farm used to get a lot of complaints from motorists, which is understandable. It used to stink a lot."
Saylor failed to generate much enthusiasm from the Amish dairy community. "They don't use electricity and don't much care about cutting down on the odor. They don't bathe, anyhow," Saylor said of his neighbors.
In fairness to the Amish, they refuse to use electricity, and they are known to bathe, "they just don't like to," said Joseph Smith, a Mennonite Dairy Queen owner.
In 2006, Saylor received a $600,000 grant from Pennsylvania's Department of Environmental Protection. "I'm not stupid; this shit made me rich," Saylor told BuckWheatsButt as he scooped up a large handfull of undigested cow flop. "Smell this; this is good shit!"
"I'll take your word for it, Mr. Saylor," the reporter said when he finished vomiting.
