The market launch of 'Doner Kebab Flavour Noodle Pots by the Silver Miracle Corporation was today slammed by a coalition of kebab shop proprietors as an utter sham.
Kebab shop owners, who usually charge around £3.50 for a small doner are furious that they are being undercut by an inferior product which in reality looks and tastes nothing like a doner kebab.
Kebab shop proprietor Ali Bullo - who has operated kebab vans at Mount Everest - told us:
"This product is garbage. Cutting kebab is an art form. There are no noodles in kebab. Only lamb, bread, salad, and some chemicals. Maybe bits of metal too, but that would be accidental. Oh, and half a pint of saturated fat. But. This is an insult to kebab tradition. There are no noodle things in kebab."
CEO Marvin Wetfahter of the Silver Miracle Corporation responded by telling us:
"Who gives a rat's ass if the product bears no resemblance whatever to a doner kebab? There's no 'Doner Kebab' trademark. We could call it 'Doner Kebab' and just fill it with cowshit if we wanted. Turks, eh? Fuck em."
More as we get it.