Ted Kennedy's Corpse Signed to Play The Blob in Movie Remake
Ted Kennedy's corpse, bloated and purple, has been signed to play the title character in "The Blob" movie remake. The film is set to begin shooting this week in Hollywood. Film director Rob Zombie said that "we thought Teddy would be just perfec...
Read full storyIsrael's birthday marred by America's inapropriate gift
America is in trouble today when a birthday gift to Israel, according to witnesses, totally bombed. Spain and other countries attended Israel's birthday party yesterday, which started off with sweet treats but ended in savage violence. "We were...
Read full storyYou Must be Barking!
Dog loving residents across the UK are up in arms this week after their application to introduce a best 'mixed breeds' section at the Famous Crufts show was poo pooed and thrown out. Spokesperson for the Mongrel Owners Club of Great Britain Mrs.Au...
Read full storyGov. Mark Sanford refuses offer of train tickets to leave town
At a press conference on Wednesday...South Carolina's lieutenant governor called for the resignation of Gov. Mark Sanford citing "serious misconduct" and "serious distractions" in connection with Sanford's extramarital affair with a woman from Argent...
Read full storyTed Kennedy Finally Meets His Maker: It Didn't Go Well!
Somewhere South of the Border/ It's HOT! - Despite the outpouring of love, sympathy, and maudlin wailing on the behalf of besotted liberals, and the Massachusetts electorate in particular, Ted's "homecoming" was not a joyous event according to report...
Read full storyJohn F. Kennedy Airport To Be Renamed Teddy Kennedy Airport
NEW YORK CITY - The New York City council has voted to change the name of John F. Kennedy International Airport to Teddy Kennedy International Airport. Councilwoman Chloe Tarantella said that originally the council wanted to rename it The John and...
Read full storyAll New Wind Turbines To Be Built In Cities
Wind generated electricity is here to stay - but rural dwellers have been up in arms about the number of gigantic turbines being erected in their backyards. In an appeal to the European Court of Human Rights, a group of country dwellers have overt...
Read full storyWoody Allen's Titanic 2 With George Clooney, Megan Fox & Zac Efron
Word is that the sequel to the mega-successful 1998 blockbuster Titanic is going to be filmed in late 2011 and hit theatres sometime in 2013. Everybody is talking about Titanic 2. Director Woody Allen recently appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show an...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's "Leaked" Toxicology Reports
Los Angeles, Ca, UEssay The results of the long anticipated toxicology reports regarding Michael Jackson's cause of death were inadvertently leaked to the press today. Shockingly, while the toxicology reports did verify the presence of massive am...
Read full storyBrazil's Amazon Rainforest Burns Completely Down
MANACAPURO, Brazil - The world's leading scientists are trying to figure out how in the world Brazil's Amazon Rainforest managed to catch fire and burn completely down to the ground. Professor Verbicarpo San Lobo of Rio De Janeiro's Amazonia A&...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Sperm To Be Auctioned
An unnamed 12-year-old at the time, who often stayed with Michael Jackson at the Neverland Ranch and who is now 24, says that he has collected 120 vials of Michael Jackson sperm that he may auction on eBay. The young man, who wore a mask of Michae...
Read full storyHitler's Pope gave him his First Holy Communion but Papa Ratzi refused Ted Kennedy Last Frights
Vatican City - (Bejaysus! Mess): A self-proclaimed drunk, adulterer, divorcee and pro-choice abortion legislator Kennedy always reckoned himself to be 'in with a chance' for a proper Papal sendoff when the time came. But reports that Pope Joseph R...
Read full storyLeonardo DiCaprio: Ted Kennedy was my Dad
Los Angeles - (Reuterus): Online bookmakers Aintgottaprayer.con are quoting even money on Hollywood movie star Leonardo DiCaprio turning up for his father Ted Kennedy's funeral on Saturday. "Of course the Body of Lies star won't be an actual pall...
Read full storySpoof Writer In Hiding in Fear Life
Mysterious Spoof-Writer Ulver who seems to have a massive downer on UK Regulators is today on the run from her small goat-herding shack in eastern Estonia. Ulver, 65 and a Grandmother of 45 is best known for making unpleasant comments about the FS...
Read full storyBlog to enlighten ignorant masses
Donal Rickettes, a computer programmer from Fresno, CA plans a blog that will "blow the lid off the whole damn thing" as he puts it. "For instance, did you know that George Bush stole the 2004 election? Well, I have proof. You'll have to read m...
Read full storyTed Kennedy's Head To Be In Macy's Parade
In honor of the great senator from Massachusetts, Macy's has announced that a huge balloon of Ted Kennedy's head, made on a 10 to 1 scale, will be featured in their Thanksgiving Parade in November. "Actually this has happened by chance in the past...
Read full storyHSE Advises Toilet Door Modifications
The Health and Safety Executive yesterday advised government ministers to legislate in order to avoid further toilet related drowning deaths. Six men have died in the last month in accidents in public toilets across the UK. Although one was the v...
Read full storyWill Meagan Fox Be The Next Catwoman?
Rumors on the streets of Hollywood is that Meagan Fox will play Catwoman in the next Batman movie to be out next year. Although it cannot be confirmed, there is simply too much noise going around for it to be just a rumor. Both Warner Brothers and...
Read full storyPoll: Gay Babies are Less Adorable
Colorado Springs, CO - Heterosexual babies - cute, cuddly, maybe even precious. These were the descriptors most chosen by a group of five hundred respondents to a poll conducted by the Christian organization Focus on the Family. Survey particip...
Read full storyMass Production Of TV's In UK Comes To An End
The mass production of TV's in the UK is at an end with the closure of a factory in Plymouth, Devon. For over thirty years the factory had been manufacturing transvestites, but now cheaper dresses in Poland have led the company, Tossiba, to move east...
Read full storyAshley Cole: "Because I'm Worth It.... Too"
Ashley Cole was celebrating last night as it was announced that he had just won a major new sponsorship deal. The news followed the announcement that his wife, Cheryl, was to be the new face of L'Oreal. Ashley Cole has been chosen to advertise Tr...
Read full storySimon Cowell Dating The Way Younger Pixie Lott
LONDON - Retro-soul singer Pixie Lott, who is England's answer to Lady GaGa, was reportedly seen in the tightest pair of leotards west of the English Channel on a dinner date with America Idol judge Simon Cowell. The doe-eyed and doe-legged Miss L...
Read full storyClaire Rayner Attacked By Cruel Nurses
Claire Rayner really has become an agony aunt following a vicious attack by a gang of nurses outside the Jimmy Tarbuck Hospital for Washed Up Comedians. Rayner caused a stir recently when she verbally attacked nurses for the cruel manner and the drea...
Read full storyUnemployed Spoofer Madam Bitters Lands on Her Feet With Blockbuster Catwoman Role!
Tumbleweed, Texas/ Not Exactly Hollywood & Vine - Sometimes Spoof Contributor, versatile character actress, Sexual Surrogate, cake baker to the stars and advice columnist Madam "Kitty" bitters extended her 'nine lives' yesterday when it was annou...
Read full storyTop Gear's Richard Hammond aspires to be next King
LONDON, Thursday. Television personality and presenter of motoring programme Top Gear, Richard Hammond, has announced that he dearly wants to replace Prince Charles as heir to the throne of England, Scotland and Wales. Hammond maintains that he h...
Read full storySmurfette's Genuine Sheared Beaver Muff Unveiled!
Muff, Ireland, UK After repeated goading and prodding by several fellow contributors to The Spoof, writer "smurfette" has at long last decided to expose her muff for all to see. "smurfette" felt that she was forced to respond when "Frankie the J"...
Read full storyWriter Dominick Dunne Continues to Pursue Ted to the Grave-and Beyond!
Hyannis, Massachusetts/True Crime Stories - A dogged Dominick Dunne, 83, remained true to his mantra as he followed Ted Kennedy in Death today, making good a vow to "follow Ted to hell in order to get the real story behind Chappaquiddick!" The wel...
Read full story'Like the the man who tricked his way onto a lifeboat from the Titanic'
London - (Rotters): Senator Ted Kennedy's lifetime of drunkenness, chicanery, priviledge and forked tongue doublespeak has been likened to that of a trickster survivor of The Titanic by one London newspaper commentator. The senator's Oldsmobile De...
Read full storyWhitey Bulger Emerges from Hiding: Throws Hat in Ring for Ted's Senate Seat!
Boston, MA/ Political News - In a bold political move, Winter Hill Criminal Gang Leader, Whitey Bulger, emerged from "hiding" and moved into the limelight after the Massachusetts Senate voted unanimously to grant him amnesty from a career of Murder...
Read full storyGovernment Begins Funds For Farts Campaign!
After the tremendous success of the "Cash For Clunkers" Program over the past month, representatives of Greenpeace and Spokesman Al Gore has requested that the government now follow up with an atmosphere clearing "Funds For Farts" Program. "All a...
Read full storyKerry Katona Has Radiation Sickness
Allegations of drug abuse, assault, drunkenness, bi-polar disorder, nose erosion and breast reduction have blighted Kerry Katona over the last year or so, but now new evidence has thrown new light on the situation. It seems that Miss Katona's prob...
Read full storyGCSEs Boost For Future Unemployed
Job Centre (Hopeless Waste of Time) The latest GCSE results have yet again shown a massive increase in the number of students passing 9 subjects or more. Obviously the new subjects have helped. Getting on the bus, Eastenders, Shoplifting (also availa...
Read full storyThe Dating Game #4
Well the Hypno-Therapy went well, at least I think it did. My therapist tells me I am regressing really well, although I'm not too sure he means it, I have a feeling he is trying to confuse me. Back to Janet. She insisted we went for a drink, claiming that she had a 'bubbly personality' and 'great sense of humour'. Fuck me, could that woman drink. She was the first woman I have met that...
Read full storyExploding iPhones: French born Epidemic hits the UK
The epidemic of exploding iPhones has jumped from France to the UK this week with 259,510 incidents reported in two days, but this is concidered by many as Just Desserts for those tossers who just won't shut up about their bloody iPhones! The plag...
Read full storyGovernment Initiative to make the GCSE harder
In response to critism on the recent world record of high grades in recent GCSE and A Levels, the Government is introducing a new tough style of exams designed for the 21st cenury. Government appointed spokesman for the Child Unified Non educated...
Read full storyPostal Worker Goes "Medical" at New York Facility
New York, NY-Police are baffled as to a motive for a series of attacks which occurred Friday at a United States Postal Service clearing office in Mid-town Manhattan. The attacks, carried out by an irate worker know only by the name "Newman", happened...
Read full storyTerrorist Plane In Booger County?
A small airplane clipped a private house on the Boogersville Road, Wednesday afternoon according to Booger County Sheriff Giddy. No one was injured. Giddy told the Boogertown Banner that at this time they believe the crash was the work of known...
Read full storySoftware Giant Apologizes for Racial Gender Bender
SEATTLE, WA - How many botched joke set-ups does it take to make a software company look like a complete buffoon? Just one, if its advertising artists are not paying attention. Software giant Microtosh apologized Wednesday for a gaffe that featur...
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