New York, NY-Police are baffled as to a motive for a series of attacks which occurred Friday at a United States Postal Service clearing office in Mid-town Manhattan. The attacks, carried out by an irate worker know only by the name "Newman", happened after a sorting machine broke down soon after a shipment of Publisher's Clearing House letters arrived.
The mad man performed seven amputations, an unnecessary tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, and was in the middle of castrating himself when he was shot dead by police. The crime mimics several others in which unnecessary surgery was performed, most often in a hospital or clinic setting. In those cases money was the most commonly stated reason for the attack.
"It was horrible!" said an unidentified co-worker, "He went from station to station, cutting off an arm here, a leg there. It was totally random. he'd just walk up to a person, make a quick diagnosis and then "Whack!". Off with your leg!". A search of Mr. Newman's apartment yielded few clues other than a slew of Chunky Candy Bar wrappers and a copy of the medical tome, Greys Anatomy.
