Gov. Mark Sanford refuses offer of train tickets to leave town

Funny story written by anchochilly

Thursday, 27 August 2009

At a press conference on Wednesday...South Carolina's lieutenant governor called for the resignation of Gov. Mark Sanford citing "serious misconduct" and "serious distractions" in connection with Sanford's extramarital affair with a woman from Argentina.

In an effort to expedite the resignation Lt. Governor Andre Bauer offered to supply Sanford with Amtrak tickets if he would resign immediately.

"Regrettably we have reached a point where we must ALL put the best interests of the people of South Carolina ahead of personal or political interests and therefore I have been authorized by the state legislature to offer the Governor 2 train tickets to any destination in the continental United States if he will resign and leave town immediately.

In a late-afternoon news conference, Sanford said he was "not going to be railroaded out of this office by political opponents...but I would consider leaving on a private jet...preferably a King Air stocked with bowls of M & M's...no brown ones...Fuji apples no larger than 3 inches in diameter from Bryson's Apple Orchard in Mountain Rest, S.C. and 9 bottles of Argentinian water...preferably Lauquen."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more