The Fatcats Club: "Postbellum"
There's a place in New York where they all go when they're in town. Sometimes it can be a rowdy joint; the great space between those carved and polished oak walls echoing with laughter and slaps on backs, the tinkling of glasses and the clatter of silverware on china plates. Other times it can be a mortuary; dreary, sparsely occupied by patrons who are drearier still, who stuff their mouths with...
Read full storyWhite House meeting between Bush and Obama goes better than expected, but not at first
Washington, D.C. - Picking up where he left off last week, an embolden Barney (the Bushs' black Scottish terrier having freshly bitten a TV reporter) decided to test the new president-elect on his own. This time, however, Barney bit off more than he...
Read full storyHalle Berry Heads Up Michelle Obama's Transition Team
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President-elect Barack Obama announced his transition team last week and this week First Lady-elect Michelle Obama has named her transition team. Motion picture actress Halle Berry has been named to be 'The First Mama-Elect Tra...
Read full storyBush Orders All O's Removed
WASHINGTON, DC -- President George W. Bush today issued an executive order directing all federal employees to remove the letter O from their computer keyboards and destroy it. "It's payback," the President said. "When I took office, the Clinton W...
Read full storyAtheist denies existence of Obama
Famous biologist, atheist and God-botherer, Dicky Dawkins, has stated that he does not believe in President-Elect Barack Obama. He said, "There is simply not enough evidence to prove his existence. His image is everywhere in the media and it worri...
Read full storyJohn Sergeant Leaves Strictly Come Dancing In 'Controversial Circumstances'
John Sergeant, the Granny's Heartthrob of Strictly Come Dancing, has left the show tonight, in a surprise move that is steeped in controversy. Sergeant, who has been the subject of more than 300,000 complaint phone calls and texts to the show, is...
Read full storyChief of Police warns public about rogue apostrophes
There's a new danger to the public. It's on the increase and The United Nations have given the green light to a new World Police Service. What is this new danger to the general public? Firearms? Narcotic's? (fuck right off) Or even Religious Cults...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Keeps Asian Child a Secret
It looks like Miley Cyrus has been keeping a huge secret from the rest of the world, as it has only just been discovered the Cyrus adopted an Asian child, it's said to have been with her for three years now. The child called Agapoo (named by Cyrus...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus, Zac Efron, Tits, Sarah Palin and Nick Jonas appear in the same headline...again
It has been touted as the most shocking headline in the history of headlines: Miley Cyrus, Nick Jonas, Sarah Palin and tits all featuring in the same sentence. Not since the glory days of 'Elvis, Jerry Lee lewis,Roman Polanski, Charlie Chaplin, G...
Read full storyThe guy who sang 80's hit 'Amadeus' to release long-awaited new single
The German pop singer Falco*, who penned a 1980's hit about composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, is to release a new song which he hopes will again reach the upper echelons of the billboard charts. The one-hit-wonder who can't walk down the street wi...
Read full storyTaxpayers' Noses Rubbed in the Brown Smelly Stuff Again
HBOS: A chilling case study of institutional arrogance, misuse of power, flaunted extravagance and avaricious excess. Less than a month after being given a multi-billion pound survival handout by the taxpayer, the Royal Wank of Scotland has blown...
Read full storyChina prepares for post recession recovery; invests 586 billion dollars into its infrastructure, retooling and social programs
Beijing, China - While the United States of America continues to throw good money after bad down the Money Pit that is Wall Street, China positions itself for post recession recovery, whenever that will be, by investing 586 billion dollar into its in...
Read full storyWhy Is Cameron Conservative Leader?
Today many were asking why David Cameron is the Conservative Party leader, as he made yet another uninspiring bleating speech about nothing very much. Labour Prime Minister Gordon Brown said :'Ha ha ha, don't ask me, the guy's so dull he makes Joh...
Read full storyWildberry Man Secretly Loves SpongeBob Squarepants
While the fall means the return of football season for most Anderson County, North Carolina men, 50-year-old Wildberry resident Timmy Hindson is happy for another reason; the return of his favorite TV Show SpongeBob Squarepants. "Please don't tell...
Read full storyHappy Hours banned, unhappy hours introduced
MPs today approved a move to ban "Happy hours" in pubs, bars and school canteens all over England and Wales today. A counter strategy called the "unhappy hour" was introduced. In the "unhappy" hour drinkers will be charged 15 times the usual pric...
Read full storyScientists create BlackMax black hole stimulator
Outer Space - (X-Files Mess): NASA scientists have launched a highly complex, modified Large Hardon Collider to create the world's first ever black hole stimulator. The revolutionary BlackMax can alter a black hole's spinning capacities and increa...
Read full storyEngland Pays Tribute To Its Football Hooligan Heroes
Ceremonies have taken place across England to remember its hooligans that lost their freedom in matches across vast areas of Europe. Neds and yobbos from as far apart as Coventry, Exeter and Liverpool gathered at the centre of hooliganism in Londo...
Read full storyBookies stop taking bets on 'who shot JR?'
London - (Putrid Ass Mess): Internet sprteadbetting index Aintgottaprayer.con has suspended all betting on the likelihood of somebody shooting TV chatshow host Jonathan Ross. The move follows further seedy revelations about phone-sex shenanigans...
Read full storyManchester City Sack Mark Hughes
Manchester City chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak has announced on the club's website in the last few minutes that the Sky Blues and manager Mark Hughes have parted company. The parting comes hot on the heels of the 2-1 home defeat to Tottenham, and wa...
Read full storyBarak Obama bans Starbucks and opens new chain of O'bama's Irish Coffee Shops
Barak Obama's (or is it O'bama's) wheels of industry are gradually picking up speed. They are now taking shape in the form of an Irish Coffee shop called O'bamas. These shops are planned to be in every town and city in the USA within four years, se...
Read full storyI Wish I Was a Celebrity
With the celebrities already lined up for this season's I wish I was a celebrity get me into there announced, ITV are having to back track as several of the big names pull out when it is revealed they have to talk to Ant and Dec. Scam, the lead si...
Read full storyMugabe Resigns - Moves to UK to Run for Prime Minister
Harare, Zimbabwe - Robert Mugabe has stunned the world once again by announcing his resignation as President of Zimbabwe with immediate effect. The controversial Mugabe was once hailed as a symbol of the new Africa, but a brutal regime and ruined...
Read full storyCar Runs on Water
MEXICO CITY, Mexico - Dr. Jose Kanucee Itvantverk gave this exclusive inteview to TheSpoof after calling our special 900 number. "Yes, it's true. We heard about all these cars that ran on water, but when we researched it, none of it panned out. "So, we decided to use some basic science to make it work. See this car here? It's a 1987 with a V8 engine. It wants gas, or some kind of hydroca...
Read full storyWolf Blitzer Interviews Mafia Boss Sal Goombalini
QUEENS, New York - The downsliding American economy has now even affected the 'Mafia' also known as the 'Mob' and 'La Cosa Nostra.' CNN's Wolf Blitzer recently sat down at the Testa di Cavallo (Horse's Head) Ristorante in Queens with the head of New York City's 'Goombalini Family,' Salvatore 'The Pizzaman' Goombalini. WB: Hello Mr. Goombalini and how are you sir? SG: I'm a doin' good a...
Read full storySarah and Todd Palin's First Commercial
Governor Sarah Palin told reporters in Alaska that the only thing that she really ever asked for during her GOP campaigning was a Diet Dr. Pepper... [THE DIET DR. PEPPER SOFT DRINK COMMERCIAL BEGINS WITH GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN AND HER HUSBAND TODD,...
Read full storySecret Email exposes Post-Election Todo's of Candidates
Secret email just posted on Drudge Report reveals the secret email todo's of all 4 ex-candidates: Barack Obama 1. Change clothes. 2. Change location of nation's capital to Hide Park, Chicago. 3. Change Camp David to Kamp Kenya. 4. Change speed-dial setting #1 to Commissioner of Internal Revenue Service, then get even with Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, and Judge Retort. S...
Read full storyChinese Recall Adult Toys
Chinese made adult toys are being recalled en mass. All adult toys, from dildos to ben wa balls, to artificial masturbatory aides with 'real feel' orifices and projectiles have been recalled by Whang Bhang Inc. the biggest Chinese exporter of these i...
Read full storyFight the Flab, Keep the Cash
In an effort to combat the obesity epidemic running rife through Britain £30million has been earmarked to five towns and cities across the UK to allow the to fight the flab. Manchester Council leader Pat Carnivore is to receive £10million of the p...
Read full storyCharles: "The day they told me I'd never be King"
London - (Sordid Nazi Mess): "Must have been the fourth or fifth time that I'd been let out on probation from HMP Broadmoor that the penny actually dropped." The Pretender to the Puppet Throne was speaking today about the time he learned he'd neve...
Read full storyDick Cheney to take new Prez hunting: beware
In breaking news, it has been announced that Dick Cheney will take Barack Obama with him on a hunting trip next week. Mr Cheney is eager to teach the newly elected President the subtle nuances of hunting wild game and to promote the cultural impo...
Read full storyCut the cuts, demands Cameron
David Cameron has placed the blame of alcohol fuelled violence squarely at the door of Number 10 Downing Street. With estimates of 80% of violent crime committed by drunks, Cameron has blamed the current Government's policy of 24 hour drinking, and n...
Read full storyObama Performs Second Miracle At Gay Wedding In Cana
Cana CT-- And in the days before His Ascension, the Chosen One was a guest at a gay wedding in Cana. And it was here that The One performed His second miracle! The One and The Blessed Spouse attended the nuptials of Adam and Steve. And there was...
Read full storyGordon Brown To Appear On 'Pimp My Ride'
Prime Minister Gordon Brown is to make a concerted attempt to improve his public image, and to make himself appear credible to the electorate by making a special guest appearance on vehicle makeover show, Pimp My Ride. Brown is to be assisted in h...
Read full storyMcCain Has Conniption: Palin May Take Felon Stevens' Senate Seat!
Sources close to John McCain were impressed by his gracious concession speech and gentlemanly return to the Senate after his profound thrashing by Obama-Biden. The tranquility and civility apparently became an impossibility when he learned that Palin...
Read full storyMormon Church H8 Big Gay Love!
The Church of JC of LDS spent millions this election year and unleashed thousands of "volunteers" to H8 gay love. The are believed to the single most powerful cause of the success of California Prosition 8 which oulaws Gay marriage. Mormon lead...
Read full storyNIMBY Protesters On Pennsylvania Ave!
NIMBY- Not in My Back Yard- has been the motive for blocking rehab facilities and homeless shelters in neighborhoods that refuse to shoulder the burden of social service programs that might lower property values even while promoting ethical values.
Read full storyObama Has Been Abu Hussein on Al-Jezeerah for Years!
Arab bloggers, now that Barack Obama has captured the US presidency, have outed him as an infamous radio personality on Arab radio station, Al- Jazeera. Known to arabs abd Arab sympathizers Obama has been known by the psuedonym Abu Hussein. His...
Read full storyBurka Hemlines to Rise this Spring
Damascus - El Jazeera has uncovered a plan hatched by Dick Cheney and the CIA to turn the Islamic world upside down by radically changing the design of the Burka in next spring's fashion show here in Damascus. Cheney, who prefers to go by his las...
Read full storyJoe Hired as the White House Plumber
Washington DC, November 9, 2008: The Associated Press is reporting that "Joe the Plumber," made famous by the McCain for President Campaign, has been hired as the Chief White House Plumber. A spokesperson for President Elect Obama has confirmed th...
Read full storyShe was a right old parasite and traitor Anthony Blunt's sister
London - (Fascist Slut Mess): BBC journalist Ed Stilton may have trodden on a vipers' nest of hideous cold war secrets by slamming the late Violet Freeman, the World War II stand-in for the Queen Mother, as a fascist parasite. "She surrounded hers...
Read full storyFabled Renaissance alchemist/physician/astrologer/occultist Paracelsus predicted 11 November 2008 downfall of 'a great evil'
London - (Gnostic Mess): 'Lo and forsooth 'tis writ, on the 515th anniversary of my birth the Great Whore of Babylon's putrid suckling pig shall be smote and cast unto Hades to languish forever.' Thus wrote fabled Renaissance alchemist, physician...
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