Damascus - El Jazeera has uncovered a plan hatched by Dick Cheney and the CIA to turn the Islamic world upside down by radically changing the design of the Burka in next spring's fashion show here in Damascus.
Cheney, who prefers to go by his last name only as a fashion designer, is reported to have ulterior motives for his foray into fashion. Cheney plans on disrupting terrorism to the Great Satan by raising the acceptable hemlines of Burkas to heights unknown. While burkas traditionally nearly drag the ground and anything higher than ankle length is considered a criminal event, the Cheney burka is a crime in the eye's of god!
Cheney plans to change the burka from the traditional cloak protecting the modesty of our young women to a provocative body hugging undergarment which some in the west would call a "a camisole."
In footage from CNN Cheney boasts "The Pentagon has spent over 40 million dollars to research and develop this new weapon system with our contractor Victoria's Secret."
"We consider this part of our stealth program and are confident this weapon will tip-the-scales in our war against terrorism. I am particularly proud of the silk bow attracting attention to the bosom, which manages to be pretty without being vulgar."
While our friends El Qaeda promise seventy-two virgins to young recruits Cheney wants to "make all young virgins available to the Islamic youth."
Allah save us from this unfortunate evil!
Cheney has been quoted "We want these young boys' minds in the Middle East to be occupied with the same filthy thoughts as every red-blooded American boy."