Secret Email exposes Post-Election Todo's of Candidates

Written by Judge Retort

Monday, 10 November 2008

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Secret email just posted on Drudge Report reveals the secret email todo's of all 4 ex-candidates:

Barack Obama

1. Change clothes.
2. Change location of nation's capital to Hide Park, Chicago.
3. Change Camp David to Kamp Kenya.
4. Change speed-dial setting #1 to Commissioner of Internal Revenue Service, then get even with Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, and Judge Retort.

Sarah Palin

1. Track down poor, lonely Todd.
2. Invite John and Cindy up to the Alaskan Governor's Cabin to do some huntin', knock back a few beers, skin a few bears, and see if HE wants to be MY VP next time.
3. Work on extreme tan over next four years.
4. Ban Charlie Gibson, Katie Couric, and Oprah from Alaska. Ban Oprah even though she owns Alaska!

John McCain

1. Go have a beer with Hillary Clinton and commiserate.
2. Try Barack's 'Change' thing: change to Democrat Party and run again in '12. If needed to get into the Party, use that new-fangled LINKEDIN.COM thing to get recommendations of old colleagues Mohammed, Jesus C., Zarathustra, Buddha, Aristotle, Plato, a couple of Egyptian Pharaohs (except Ramses -- he sucked!), and my favorite high-school teachers: Elijah, Isaiah, Ezekiel, Abraham... Skip Moses -- he never liked us jocks.
3. Get even with that Rush Limbaugh! Strafe his Florida compound with my trusty old Mustang P-38.

Joe Biden

1. Go vote.
2. Go vote a few more times -- beat the top ACORN record.
3. Find out who won the election.
4. Get even with Dan Quayle.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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