MPs today approved a move to ban "Happy hours" in pubs, bars and school canteens all over England and Wales today. A counter strategy called the "unhappy hour" was introduced.
In the "unhappy" hour drinkers will be charged 15 times the usual price for a pint of beer, glass of wine or a shot of spirits. They will also be constantly reminded by specially trained "unhappiness officers" of the social and physiological problems alcohol causes.
This new move is the result of a covert government study on alcohol related crime, code named: "Another excuse"
A Government spokes person said: "Amid the financial, ecological and social crisis modern Britain faces - we were keen as liberal thinkers to force people to think about their actions" they later went on to say this law is part of a series of "spirit crushing" moves to "subdue" a public on the brink of revolution.
The president of the students union was said to be distraught at the news but was unavailable for comment since he had been down the pub since 4.30 yesterday afternoon and was totally shitfaced.
