Scientists create BlackMax black hole stimulator

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 10 November 2008

image for Scientists create BlackMax black hole stimulator
Potentially there could be billions of space/time wormholes out there somewhere

Outer Space - (X-Files Mess): NASA scientists have launched a highly complex, modified Large Hardon Collider to create the world's first ever black hole stimulator.

The revolutionary BlackMax can alter a black hole's spinning capacities and increase the friction of its mass so that it is dissipated as 'gravitons-elementary quanta of gravity' (if the jargon is to be believed).

The equipment is also helping spaced-out studies at the ATLAS Experiment HQ where black hole decay is the spécialité de la maison.

"The ultimate goal is to find wormholes that permit space/time manipulation," NASA's Prof V Smart said today.

"We know the bastards are out there somewhere! And the person who first captures one will be able to bend time/space so much they will become Ultimate Master of the Universe."

Buzz Aldrin is 102.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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