Beijing, China - While the United States of America continues to throw good money after bad down the Money Pit that is Wall Street, China positions itself for post recession recovery, whenever that will be, by investing 586 billion dollar into its infrastructure, retooling and social programs.
"Unlike the USA, we will use this recession as an opportunity to build up our economy for the future by investing billions directly into our infrastructure, retooling our manufacture districts and social welfare programs," said a spokesman for the Peoples Republic of China. "That way when the current recession ends, China's countryside, manufacturing and her people will be in a prime position to be the largest, most strongest and most powerful nation in the world."
High-ranking Chinese government officials sent a delegation of economic recession recovery advisers to the United States of America to help setup a similar economic recovery plan, however, both Bush and Obama officials alike rejected the offer of assistance.
"The Obama campaign rejected the offer from the Chinese fearing critics would use it as fodder, accusing him of being a socialist," said a Washington insider. "While the Bush administration rejected the officer because the plan provided no financial relief to Wall Street."
"It's unthinkable that American capitalism needs to be bailed out by adopting 586 billion dollars in socialist programs like rebuilding a failing infrastructure, retooling an out of date manufacturing sector to remain competitive in a global economy or welfare programs to assure a healthy citizenry," said the White House press secretary. "We are confident that our 850 billion dollar Wall Street rescue plan will do the job just fine."
"Trickledown Economics Theory is alive and well in America," said a spokesman for the returning disillusioned Chinese economic recovery delegation. "Now we're going to have to double our recession recovery projections, risking an overheated economy again."
