McCain Threatens to Pull out of the Race
The 71-year-old Senator says he's sick of waiting on Obama and Clinton.
Read full storyBritain's got talent - they think It's all over - well it is now
After auditioning over seven million people, with nightly televised heats lasting over three years, the winner of "Britain's Got Talent" was announced last night.
Read full storyObama calls for unity
The presumptive Democratic Presidential nominee has called on Americans of all stripes to sheath their differences and walk together as one.
Read full storyHillary Clinton calls for Cuban Delegates and votes
Havana, Cuba (SP) - Hillary Clinton has called for the inclusion of Cuban Delegates and votes, saying their exclusion is 'unfair.'...
Read full storyTevez wins top Manchester award!
Carlos Alberto Tevez of Manchester United and Argentina has been awarded the 'MAN'chester award in Manchester.This award is given to those special people who have the face that turns the most number of people on that area.
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Pregnant With Siamese Twins
(Hollywood CA) Movie star Angelina Jolie confirmed rumours today that she is pregnant with conjoined (Siamese) twins. An ultrasound shows the twins are joined at the hip and cannot be separated.
Read full storyPretender's son posted to family crack smuggling duties
London - (Fetid Fascist Mess): The tribute artiste being promoted relentlessly by the UK Hellfire Club as the Pretender's elder son has been thrown in the deep end by the Navy.
Read full storyAmerica Votes On Whether It's A Republic Or A Democracy
The USA is to hold a nationwide vote on a single question that has caused much confusion - is it a republic, or is it a democracy? The answer since 1776, of course, is that it's both, and it's neither.
Read full storyBush Says His Domestic Policy Was Also Directed by God
In the wake of reports in which President Bush claimed to have been directed by God to invade Afghanistan and Iraq, the president stated in a Tuesday press conference that several of his domestic policies are also of divine inspiration.
Read full storyDavina McCall complains
TV host Davina McCall, who is partially responsible for the human suffering of Big Brother is complaining, again.
Read full storySimon Cowell wins...
Shock news has reached us that Simon Cowell, high waist-banded soldier in the fight against good music has won the current round of Britain's Got Talent.
Read full storyAmerica Declares War On Leeward Islands
Today, the United States of America declared war on the mighty nation of the Leeward Islands. For decades the Islands, with a population of 17,000, have funded international terrorism and have been a thorn in the side of the USA, and their 'we tr...
Read full story"Lost Tribe" of Brazil Not So Lost After All
The "Lost Tribe" of Brazil may not have been so "lost" after all. The scientific community that was collectively on its way to South America by ground, sea, and air and willingly contributing to global warming has come to a scree...
Read full storySir Alan Sugar endorses the Charlie Bucket school of Business
The Bob Hoskins of the business world, Sir Alan Sugar (see how many anagrams there are of that name, kids) has said that his perfect candidate on The Apprentice would be Charlie Bucket.
Read full storyColorado & Nebraska USA Welcome ETs
In Denver, Colorado, USA, some folks with a peculiar mindset have signed an election initiative so citizens can vote whether to establish a department for documenting & analyzing claims about extra-terrestrial (ET) entities. Part of the hoopla & hyp...
Read full storyTony Blair To Found A New Religion
Former Prime Minister Tony Blair today announced that he was setting up a new religion. Speaking from his coal-miner's cottage in Sedgefield, Mr. Blair said: 'Yes, today I am launching a new world religion, the Church Of Saint Anthony of Blair, a...
Read full storyKISS Does Condi
On tour in Sweden: KISS--the iconic supreme rock band--has added Condoleeza Rice under their belt as a fan (or perhaps a groupie)?...
Read full storyDNC Meets To See If Crying Clinton Can Be Appeased
(Washington D.C.) - The Democratic National Committee's Rules and Bylaws panel is meeting today in Washington to see if they can come to a resolution of the situation regarding the stripped delegates from Michigan and Florida, amidst calls by the...
Read full storyGeorge Bush To Take English Lessons
President George W Bush will today start taking English lessons.
Read full storyBush To Become A Rock Star
Exiting American President, George W Bush, has decided to become a rock star next January.
Read full storyBig Paint Drier
Intelligent viewers across the United Kingdom are looking forward to the start of series eighteen of Big Paint Drier, which starts next week.
Read full storyRadders Bid To 'Get Down With The Kids'
It has come to the attention of acting hunk Daniel Radders that he is not getting enough awards for his contribution to the screen and the reason behind this is not because he is a bad actor, no far from it but because he is not in touch with today&#...
Read full storyMarkets sense massive BigOil merger as Chevron moves into former Enron HQ
Off-the-Wall Street, NYC - (Big Ass Mess): Oil markets are ablaze with persistent reports that Chevron Oil's humongous war chest is about to swallow up Exxon-Mobil, the US No 1 oil company.
Read full storyBlair's son Leo spawned from Turin Shroud-harvested DNA
London - (Reuterus & Infalible Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair's youngest brat Leo was conceived via cutting edge IVF treatment using DNA extracted from blood droplets found on the Turin Shroud hoax.
Read full storyChinese earthquake UFO shot down over Vietnam
Phu Quoc, Cambodia - (Extraterrestrial Mess): Vietnam's air force has shot down an ominous-looking UFO that had been spotted hovering menacingly in its sovereign airspace.
Read full storyAngelina Jolie gives birth - Madonna to adopt
Angeline Jolie, star of movies such as Foxfire and 'When Collagen goes wrong' has given birth to twins in an Indian Teepee today. Continuing her humanitarian work, aging popstar Madonna is expected to legally adopt both, at some point this we...
Read full storyGordon Brown: Phone Pest!
Not content with annoying the country with his democratic decision making, British Prime Monster Gorgon Brown has a new tactic - cold calling!...
Read full storyBritish Airways long haul at Terminal 5
British Airways is putting the final touches to long haul for passengers at its recently opened fiasco, Terminal 5. Destinations to be included are New York, New York (so good they named it twice), Beijing where you have to be careful a tank doesn...
Read full storyHull City Wanderers refute 'new Bolton' rumours
Premiership new boys Hull City Wanderers, led by ex Bolton wing wizard Phil Brown were today said to be trying to play down rumours suggesting they could be the new Bolton.
Read full storyMars Probe Finds Something Astonishing
Scientific experts and photographic analysts at NASA have revealed that surface images received from the Mars probe Phoenix show millions of small rectangular blocks that were formed long after the birth of...
Read full storyUN Inspectors To Intervene In Eurovision Crisis
Inspectors from the United Nations are to be asked to investigate allegations of vote-rigging amongst judges at the Eurovision Song Contest, it has been reported, after the United Kingdom failed to impress once again...
Read full storyMarty and his skinny latte
In conjunction with Time Out magazine and Metro Newspaper, London is to present the annual pretentious stakes for 2008.
Read full storyAin't that a kick in the head
As thousands of commuters struggled this week to make their way into Liverpool St after a bridge was struck, they faced further insult by train companies increasing fares prices again and fining passengers who complained.
Read full storyFired? I'm not even Hired!
Chelsea football club was today plunged into further turmoil as they sacked their next manager before even unveiling him after Roman Abramovich decided to call time deeming his reign unsuccessful.
Read full storyMan Drowns After Wooden Leg Catches Fire
British fire authorities have called for a full investigation following the drowning death of a seventy year old pensioner who was hosed down by as many as four "overzealous" fire units after his prosthetic leg caught fire.
Read full storyDinner Conversation Revolves Around Mashed Potatoes For 15 Minutes
PORT JEFFERSON, NY -- With the table conversation quickly running dry at the Johannigans family Memorial Day Weekend dinner, somebody needed to step up and re-energize it. As members of the family poked around at their food desperately searching their minds for a thought to vocalize, the lingering silence continued, demanding to be broken. But most were held speechless.
Read full storyRon Paul is GOP Nominee
Today, the GOP dropped McCain as their presumptive nominee and unanimously chose Rep. Ron Paul as their nominee.
Read full storyNew York to recognize extraterrestrial marriages
Gov. David Paterson of New York has told state agencies to recognize extraterrestrial marriages performed in states, countries and planetary systems where they are legal, his spokeswoman said Wednesday.
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