America Votes On Whether It's A Republic Or A Democracy

Funny story written by matwil

Saturday, 31 May 2008

image for America Votes On Whether It's A Republic Or A Democracy
Flag of the Republic - or of the Democracy?

The USA is to hold a nationwide vote on a single question that has caused much confusion - is it a republic, or is it a democracy? The answer since 1776, of course, is that it's both, and it's neither.

To Republicans, unsurprisingly, America is a republic, basically ruled by one man with advisors to help him, but to Democrats, of course, it's a democracy, that's run by a large team working together. The snag is is that nobody has a clue what they're voting for, and end up voting for people that remind them of their friends and relations.

If Americans vote for a republic, they can concentrate on getting decent presidents again, instead of an embarrassing idiot like George W. Bush, but if a democracy is chosen, they can use Congress and the Senate to rule the country, with the President being a token figurehead.

A British spokesman pointed out that it has taken over 200 years for Americans to realise they have this problem, but maybe in another 200 they'll sort it out, and will enter the 19th century, and maybe even have a woman as head of state, like the rest of the world's democracies and republics have had.

But speaking from her funeral pyre in Islamabad, former Pakistani President, Benazir Bhutto, said :'Maybe the Americans have got the right idea. If you have bland useless Presidents, and all your other policians are dull and unable to do anything, then you don't have the risk of being assassinated.'

Abraham Lincoln was a movie actor, and George Washington became President because his wife had the the job a few years earlier.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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