America Declares War On Leeward Islands

Funny story written by matwil

Saturday, 31 May 2008

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The Enemy

Today, the United States of America declared war on the mighty nation of the Leeward Islands.

For decades the Islands, with a population of 17,000, have funded international terrorism and have been a thorn in the side of the USA, and their 'we trade with other countries' and 'we don't buy your weapons' attitudes have been unpopular in Washington. But earlier today, America launched a full-scale invasion of the Islands, to deter what President Bush called 'Lots of Leewarding going on.'

This may be risky, as other superpowers such as Grenada and Cuba and the Outer Hebrides may come to the Leewards' help, but America's trillion dollar arms budget may just swing the balance against the Islands' $5-22 annual expenditure on blow pipes.

Analysts are predicting that the US Army will remain there for years without achieving anything, and will then be leaving behind lots of dead GIs as they go and attack another mighty superpower for no reason.

Speaking from his cave in Washington DC, Osama Bin Laden said: 'Death to the Infidel West! Fancy another game of golf, George?' And President Bush himself added: 'The War on Lee Trevinos continues!'

However, Prime Minister of the Islands, Ben O'sama, said: 'We'll just all go on holiday to Las Vegas til this all blows over. Another Bacardi and Coke?'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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