VANCOUVER, B.C. - For the fourth time in less than a year, a right human foot has been found off one of four different islands in the Strait of Georgia in British Columbia.
Prime Minister Steven Harper announced that "Despite the apocryphal sign of the discovery of dismembered feet Canada remains firmly committed to use of the meter as the standard of measurement and the SI system in general. There is no plan to revert back to the imperial system of measurement despite non-stop bellyaching by pockets of die-hard monarchists."
Harper went on to say "This is an immigration issue. Canada will not tolerate individuals attempting to circumnavigate normal procedures for application for citizenship by attempting to enter the country in pieces…the phase Fourth Foot Found is a fine example of alliteration however."
Police say that they do not know if there are any links among the feet but noted as they all right feet they are probably from different people. Speculation in the region is rife, including that the feet were from slaying victims or they were the remains from a plane crash. Some believe that it is Yahweh showing his displeasure for his people worshipping a golden calf, these are in the minority however, most agree that four feet washing ashore is not enough to qualify as a biblical event. Everyone is stumped.
A passer-by found a human foot in a shoe on Kirkland Island in the South Arm of the Fraser River on Thursday. "It's a mystery we intend on solving," Police Constable Annie Linteau said. "It's certainly very unusual." Last August, a foot was found inside a man's Reebok sneaker on nearby Gabriola Island, just a few days after another foot was discovered by beachcombers on Jedidiah Island. The remains of a fourth right foot were found on the east side of Valdez Island on Feb 8. Fishermen say that if things keep up feet will soon be fouling their nets threatening the salmon fishery.
There is no evidence to suggest the foot -- or any or the previous three-- was forcibly removed, Linteau said. "All four were wearing socks and were in a running shoe. It's not surprising to find a foot with a sock on it in a running shoe, it's the lack of the rest of the body that is unusual. So far all we have been able to rule out is this being is an advertising campaign by Reebok."
Two of the feet are size twelve. Linteau's assistant Mike Peters says that sneakers from these fit him best with lots of room left over in the toe.
There has been speculation the feet may have come from a plane which hit the water three years ago, killing five men off Quadra Island. Only one body was recovered.
A more likely theory is that the feet came from the people on the plane.
Linteau said missing persons files are also being examined and police are on the lookout for anyone missing their right foot.
Curtis Ebbesmeyer, a former professor of oceanography at the University of Washington who studies floating objects, said when the third foot was found the feet could have drifted from as far as 1,000 miles, after that it would be anybody's guess. Ebbesmeyer says left shoes and right shoes often tend to wash up at different times at different places because they float differently, "there are beaches that collect mostly rights and others that collect mostly lefts because the winds or currents sort out left and right foot wear." He also believes that this phenomenon is somehow related to the disappearance of single socks during washing.
Steven Harper is fluently bilingual.
