The Kate Middleton skagheads' needle exchange garden takes gold
Chelsea - (Rehab Mess): A post-urban smack addicts' needle exchange garden modelled on Kate Middleton's social life has taken gold at the Chelsea Flower Show.Read full story
Ron Paul finds lost Blanket. Calls off election bid.
Ron Paul announced to day that he is no longer seeking to be President of the United States of America.Read full story
David Beckham and Posh One and the Same
In a real-life Psycho story David Beckham surprised everyone today by revealing that Posh has been a total fabrication created by him and a right good joke on everybody. Not waiting for the laughter to subside Becks says it was all too easy, "I...Read full story
Police Crime Wave!
British Police stations have been targeted today in a wave of incidents up and down the country.Read full story
Chelsea Clinton blames Father for her looks
Louisville KY: When I saw the former (and possible future) first daughter being ushered into the Denny's where I was enjoying my Grand Slam Breakfast I never dreamed that she would end up sitting at the table next to my booth.Read full story
Magic Fish Takes Control of Stock Markets
A plastic 'magic fish' which has predictive qualities has taken control of the worlds Stock Markets.Read full story
It's Official: Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit Has Nineteen E's
SYDNEY- Top linguists from the English-speaking world convened in Sydney, Australia on Monday and reached a difficult consensus regarding the proper spelling of...Read full story
John McCain: "Negotiating With Terrorists Is Not As Effective As Handing Them Our Weapons."
President Bush commemorated Israel's 60th birthday by launching a political attack on the Democratic presidential candidates.Read full story
The Duchess of York Fumes Over Fat Daughter Remarks
Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York has seen red. No, she has not looked into a mirror, she is upset over claims by the media that her daughter is overweight.Read full story
Death-Row Prisoner Pins Last-Ditch Hope on Giambi's Golden Thong
A death-row inmate has received Yankee slugger Jason Giambi's Golden Thong in the hopes of averting death by lethal injection Thursday.Read full story
Osama to change name - seeks suggestions
Popular millionaire terrorist and murderer, Osama Bin Laden of 3, The Cave, Uphills, Pakistan (turn left after the Halal Burger King on Highway 13) is seeking to change his name, according to his public relations agency Al Jazera. Fed up being cal...Read full story
NCAA Report on Acceptability of Big 10 Conference Nicknames
Part 2 of a 12 part series...Read full story
Gemini solar ingress is Armageddon Venus Fly Trap
The Cosmos - (Apocalyptic Mess): Astrologers are warning that Tuesday's portents hail a huge cosmic sting in the sign of the Twins as the forces of law and order combat the plague of Opus Dei tribute artistes posing as genuine born-again Illumina...Read full story
Almost a two-horse town!
Amid rising petrol prices, the villagers in a Gloucestershire village have come up with an entirely eco-friendly solution. The steep slopes (sometimes 1 in 2) of Chalford have long been a problem for cars to negotiat...Read full story
Blind Man Regains Sight, Tears Eyes Out After Discovering Society Is Unjust
A man who has been blind since childhood, and who regained his sight in a freakish accident, has now torn his eyes out after discovering that the world is such a horrible, immoral and corrupt place, according to a report. The man, Reg Pilger, 36,...Read full story
David Archuleta quits American Idol?
Los Angeles - David Archuleta, one of American Idol's finalists, has decided to quit the competitions citing overly commercial nature of show and undesirable judges.Read full story
Cardiff City Scum Cause Mayhem, And Pompey Too!
Police today are reliving Saturday's mayhem outside Wembley stadium as 90,000 fans poured out into the Capital.Read full story
Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman joke banned in Iran
The now famous, but sometimes politically incorrect and nonetheless extremely funny Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman joke has been banned in Iran by their president, Havano Dinnajacket.Read full story
Daleks vs Burkas and up in arms over Passport Office fiasco
A Channel Islands-based organisation, the Jersey International Honourable Association of Daleks (JIHAD) has reacted strongly to a request from the National passport Office that member Daleks remove their lids prior to having their photographs taken f...Read full story
Zac claims Vanessa's a cheater!
Just days ago, sweetheart Vanessa Hudgens claimed she was pregnant to ex boyfriend and fellow High School Musical Star, Zac Efron. But today, Zac has come out swinging claiming he's not the father.Read full story
Real Madrid sign Cristiano Ronaldo for £1 trillion!
Real Madrid coach Bernd Schuster has agreed a world record fee of £1,000,000,000,000 to lure Cristiano Ronaldo from Manchester United this summer.Read full story
Bush Presents Protocol Problem
Sharm-el-Sheik, Egypt: President G. Bush, USA, generated protocol problems for many of the potentates & their advisors over the past weekend.Read full story
McCain says Hamas endorsement of Obama proves Democrats, Independents and traitorous crossover Republicans are terrorist too - breaking his promise not to be like Bush
Washington, DC - McCain denies he has broken his campaign promise to the American people, not to be a cookie cutter third term of the Bush administration, by spot lighting the endorsement of the terrorist group Hamas of Obama, though critics say he h...Read full story
This morning the White House was reported to have been attacked by an army of squirrels. Five thousand of them descended upon the great lawn.Read full story
Britney Spears Linked to Jihadist Movement
The white house has recently released an updated list of existing domestic terrorist organisations.Read full story
Hillary Clinton goes Pro-Life; says the unborn children of tomorrow have a right to have their voices be heard today
Washington, DC - In what some are calling a desperate attempt to increase her standing in the popular poll today and gain future pledge delegates and superdelegates tomorrow, Hillary Clinton made an astonishing announcement today, proclaiming herself...Read full story
If Elected President, Obama Promises Soul Food and Honky Food in White House
Despite the negative talk between rivals Obama and Hillary, focusing on bitterness, elitism, religion, guns, and, especially, the divisive Reverend Jeremiah Wright's anti-everybody oratory, a key issue had still not surfaced.Read full story