Markets sense massive BigOil merger as Chevron moves into former Enron HQ

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 31 May 2008

image for Markets sense massive BigOil merger as Chevron moves into former Enron HQ
Chevron's already done all the donkey work and is poised to swoop big time

Off-the-Wall Street, NYC - (Big Ass Mess): Oil markets are ablaze with persistent reports that Chevron Oil's humongous war chest is about to swallow up Exxon-Mobil, the US No 1 oil company.

The San Ramon-based oil and gas giant has had an immensely successful twenty year-long partnership with the owners of a $950 billion oil and gas-derived Sovereign Trust Fund asset base.

"The company is poised to swoop down on Exxon-Mobil just as soon as the US Supreme Court rules on an appeal to quash the Exxon-Valdez disaster-related punitive damages," an editorial in NYC's BigOilShagger! magazine stated today.

Other news sources in Houston, Texas say the San Ramon-based BigOil colossus is moving into Enron's former 40-storey global HQ 1500 Louisiana Street "which it bought for a song" in a garage sale of the former energy giant's assets back in 2002.

The premises are linked by a skywalk to another former Enron-owned property, the original 1400 Smith Street 50-storey HQ and will provide a new central powerbase for Chevron after it swallows up Exxon-Mobil "shortly after the November presidential election" according to reliable information received.

The company's megabux partners also own around 40% of Occidental stock as well as exclusive drilling rights to a potential 400,000 barrels-a-day of sweet light crude site in a top secret US location.

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has totally flipped out.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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