London - (Reuterus & Infalible Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair's youngest brat Leo was conceived via cutting edge IVF treatment using DNA extracted from blood droplets found on the Turin Shroud hoax.
The news was revealed after Blair's personal Opus Dei-registered Father Confessor Fr Michael Seedy was questioned by officers of the UK's Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency after a tip-off.
Blair, 54, had been persuaded in 1999 to take the eugenics-tweaking messianic step after Cherie's fabled naturopath-cum psychobabble necromancer Jack Temple (RIP) dowsed a new interpretation of a Qumraanic prophecy.
This claimed that the risen Christchild's Second Coming was only possible during the subsequent six planet build-up in the sign of Taurus in 2000.
Disregarding unequivocal scientifically-proven carbon dating results attesting that the Shroud is a 14th century hoax the crude experiment wnet ahead, funded by a £9 million lottery win stolen by Lord Levy from a witness to an IRA assassination of the real-life Mick Jagger in 1967.
And now the result lives on cuckoo-like in the Blair nest.
A spokesman for the Dead Sea Scrolls Dowsing Society of Great Britain, Prof V Smart, said today:
"Everybody knows Jack Temple was nuts.
"The Turin Shroud has been proven to be an image of Jacques de Molay, the last Grand Master of the Knights Templar, who was executed by an act of public immolation on 18 March 1314 on the orders of the French nutter King Filip IV, known as Filippe Le Bel - the Beautiful.
"Maybe that's where the IVF business is rooted - F for Filip, and IV for fourth, hehe."
De Molay famously cursed Le Bel, his accomplice Pope Clement V and all their ensuing progeny from the Ile de la Cite stake where he was burned alive.
Leo Blair is 8.
