Written by ozworld

Saturday, 31 May 2008

image for Man Drowns After Wooden Leg Catches Fire
Dead Pensioner

British fire authorities have called for a full investigation following the drowning death of a seventy year old pensioner who was hosed down by as many as four "overzealous" fire units after his prosthetic leg caught fire.

The incident which occurred late last night has been deemed as another dark day for British fire authorities and comes only a week after the infamous "cat controversy" when firemen removed a cat stuck in a tree by catapulting a vicious pit bull terrier into the upper branches.

"We can't apologise enough" said department head Earl Lavender "We received a call from a concerned citizen who said there was an old man in a nearby park whose trousers were on fire and dispatched several units immediately"

The units arrived at the scene shortly after and quickly set to work only to find after the flames were doused that the man was dead.

"He was flailing about yelling out something while these lunatics were hosing him" claimed a witness "and then his leg fell off"

Fire captain Len Pisquale who attended the incident says he takes full responsibility for the man's death but also attached a large proportion of the blame to pay television network the Discovery Channel.

"I'd seen a show the night before about spontaneous combustion" claimed Pisquale "and when I saw this bloke I thought hello we've got one here so I told the boys to let him have it"

After saturating the man with up to 5000 gallons of water Pisquale says he was about to call a halt to the dousing but when the leg flew off he decided to give him "some more".

"I didn't know what was going on then one of the boys wanted to see if we could make his other leg fall off so we started up again"

Captain Pisquale and several other men have now been confined to desk duties where they will peruse pornography until the incident is investigated.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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