Written by IN SEINE

Saturday, 31 May 2008

image for Gordon Brown: Phone Pest!
Rafique takes early moring call

Not content with annoying the country with his democratic decision making, British Prime Monster Gorgon Brown has a new tactic - cold calling!

After a substantial Labour defeat in Crewe last week, the Labour leader has decided to speak personally to some of the unlucky correspondents who are foolish enough to give their phone numbers on their letters and reassure them that he will give their concerns his full attention.

A good old Lancashire boy, Mr Wajid Rafique, 30, from Nelson, told In Seine News;

"I sent Mr Brown a letter 16 days ago and didn't expect a personal response, but to my surprise this Scottish bloke had a chat with me. He made the call at 6am - just when I'd finished work in Arkwright Rafique's Post Office and General stores. He's my Dad and is usually open all hours just to make ends meet. We have to work bloody 'ard yer know!"

"At first I thought "Who the hell is this phoning at this time in the morning?" Double-glazing? Time-share? Won a Disney holiday in Florida? Perhaps the Banker off Deal or No Deal? I wasn't going to answer it, but curiosity got the better of me. He was polite and I am certain that he apologised for ringing at that time, but I can't be certain because of his Scottish accent. He said that he had free weekend and evening calls from BT and was being a responsible politician by making the most of a money-saving deal!" - a true Scot I thought."

"He spoke about my issue of withdrawing troops out of Iraq and promised me he would give it his full attention - that was five days ago and still he's not done owt about it! I suppose he could have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). Mr Brown thanked him for the chat and said that he had actually spoken to me longer than his wife, Sarah, did."

"I have never voted Labour before and I doubt I ever will until the troops come out of Iraq."

A spokesman for Downing Street said "that the Labour Party will definitely pull our boys out of Iraq when they win the next election."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Gordon Brown

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