"Send in the Clones"

Saturday, 31 May 2008

A short newspaper headline history of future events.

1880: Early Cloning Experiments Conducted

1951: Frog Embryo Cloned

1996: Dolly-The First Cloned Sheep Born

2005: Human Cloning Banned in the United States

2009: Supreme Court Declares Human Cloning Ban Unconstitutional

2013: Ancient Aztec Calendar Proved Wrong, World Didn't End in 2012

2019: First Human Clones Adama and Eveta Produced

2020: Artic Polar Bear Population Quadruples

2025: Clones Now Being Mass Produced at various Bio-Tech Companies

2026: Congress-Clones to be employed only in Military, Domestic or Farm Work

2027: Illegal Immigration from Mexico drops to Zero

2028: Border Fence No Longer Needs Completion

2029: Stock Market Crashes, Wall Street in a Tizzy

2029: USA and UN object to Iran's Annexation of Saudi Arabia

2030: Iran Declares War on the USA

2031: Congress Asks President to Send in the Clones

2032: Iran defeated, Oil Drops to $10 a Barrel

2033: Military Clones Honored in Washington DC by President George HW Bush III

2033: Clones in the East march on Washington DC for their Rights

2035: Puerto Rico Becomes the 51st State

2036: Eastern States free all Clones residing under their Jurisdiction

2037: AMTRAC-New Underground Railroad for Escaping Clones to Mexico, Canada and East

2039: Clone Unrest Grows in the West

2040: West Says Cheap Clone Labor Needed to Compete in World Markets

2042: Seminole Indians Petition Congress to eliminate Casinos and Restore the Pristine Reservation
2046: USA and Mexico go to war about Jobs Lost to Clones in Southwest

2048: Mexico loses War, Cedes the Entire Country to USA

2050: Mexico Becomes the 52rd State

2051: Congress- Prohibits any More Human Cloning

2052: Congress Passes the Fugitive Clone Act, allowing recapture of Runaway Clones

2053: Nation Still United

2056: Last Congressional Republican Beaten by a Whig Party Candidate

2057: Supreme Court Rules Clones Can Never be Citizens of the USA

2059: Nation Divided over Subjugated Clones of the West

2060: Senator Hussan Obama III Elected President, Defeating George W Bush 1V

2061: Western States Secede from Union, Except WVA, OR, WA

2061: Jesse Helms III Elected President of the Western States Confederation

2061: Alaska and Hawaii to remain in the Union

2061: Western Rebels Fire on Fort Dix NJ

2061: War declared by Union

2061: West's General Robert E Lee VI to face East's General David Petraeus III

2061: Union Troops Routed at Battle of Bull Run VA

2062: US Navy Blockades the Missouri River

2062: Queen Elizabeth III Announces Great Britain to remain Neutral

2062: East decisively beats West at Bloody Battle of Sutter's Mill Creek CA

2063: East Triumphant at Bloody Second Battle of Gettysburg

2063: President to give a Short Speech at Gettysburg PA

2064: General John McCain III Marches on San Francisco CA, routing Berkley Rebels

2064: Senator Hillary Clinton III Elected President in a Close Contest

2065: West Surrenders at Bakersfield CA County Courthouse

2066: 30th Amendment gives all Clones Full Citizenship, Medical Care, Equal Rights

2067: Congress Ends Prohibition-Cloning of Humans can be resumed

2068: Bill Gates III accepts Medal of Freedom for this Crisis Management/Gaming Software

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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