Congress demands Thatcher son Mark's extradition over 9/11 charges
Drowning Street, London - (Armageddon Press): Getting out of her chauffered Rolls Royce outside 10 Downing Street today former UK Primce Monster Margaret Thatcher had clearly pissed herself ahead of he carefully choreographed tea and crumpets visit t...
Read full story"Human Flies" mount daring prison escape with help of a "ladder"
Prison guards looked on with amazement as two daring convicts escaped from a top security prison in Leicester by climbing a ladder.
Read full storyTop UK Judge laughing all the way to the bank as Northern Rock goes bankrupt
Royal Courts of Justice, London - (Told-You-So!-Mess): One of the UK's most senior judges in the Law Lords, Court of Appeal and on secondment to the litigation division of the UN Security Council is celebrating tonight as the City of London brace...
Read full storyNorthern Rock goes down the pan
City of London - (Disaster Press): UK mortgage lender Northern Rock is going down the toilet pan and has had to ask the Bank of England to bail it out with a massive billion pound tide-over.
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens: "I ain't pregnant, I'm still a virgin!"
Hollywood, California - (Cheeky Ass Mess): Oh yeah? Shag-a-virgin internet sites have gone ballistic during the last 24 hours after High School Musical dusky beauty Vanessa Hudgens hotly denied being pregnant and claimed that she still has a...
Read full storyIrn Brun and The Iron Lady
Our lord and master, Gordon 'Irn Brun' Brown, has met the former PM Margaret Thatcher. He intends to adapt his policies in order to gain more popular support, or votes; whichever comes most easily.
Read full storyPlain English
A newly-qualified lawyer found work in the Fines Enforcement office of a Magistrates' Court.
Read full storySteven Seagal invites fat girls to howl at his house
Tubby 90's action hero, Steven Seagal has been spotted placing notices on store windows in Boise, Idaho, calling on fat girls to howl at his house.
Read full storyBraindamaged Pagans encourage Valdimir Putin to shelve boogie-woogie ban
Liza Lotte , the founder and patron of the Brain-dead Pagans Association, has called on peace-loving Russian premier Vladimir Putin to end his country's ban on boogie-woogie music.
Read full storyThree Balls Incident leaves tennis player injured
Tennis player and David Miliband lookalike Tim Henman has been seriously injured today when he tried to sere three balls in a foolish attempt to make himself look good.
Read full storyFifth-Graders Mistakenly Shown Star Whores instead of Star Wars
Glenn Dale, Maryland - (Bare Ass Mess): A Glenn Dale Elementary School's fifth graders were amused to find that a long-promised treat of a DVD classroom showing turned out to be the seminal porno-flick Star Whores and not, as their teach...
Read full storyLottery handout will bankroll McCanns' legal fees
London - (Ass Mess): UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown is reported to have given the nod for the National Lottery's Heritage Fund to pay Kate and Gerry McCann's legal fees after various New labour cash-for-honors peers pulled out from extending...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens jocks off Jennifer Hudson from plum Sex & the City role
Los Angeles, California - (Bareassed Cheek Mess): High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens has been picked for a Sex & the City movie plum role that Oscar-winning Dreamgirls actress Jennifer Hudson thought was a done dea...
Read full storyPolice Shoot Two Dead In Bungled Bank Robbery
Two men were shot dead in Hampshire this morning after they bungled a bank raid, and were the victims of a 'shooting gallery-style' onslaught by police, who killed them to pieces.
Read full storyMatadors to give the Bull a Fair Go
Spain has bowed to growing international pressure from the animal rights lobby and is to 'even the odds' in bullfighting.
Read full storyChristian radicals find the 'New Jesus'
Christian radical groups in Swansea have claimed to have found the second coming in a quite unexpected form.
Read full storyDingo baby mother adds to McCann controversy
Sydney, Australia - (Ass Mess): Australia's famous Dingo Baby Mother, Lindy Chamberlain, has added her 50c worth to the McCann family controversy as they fight to clear their names in a Portuguese press-fueled furor about the disappearance of the...
Read full storyGeorge Bush To Top Up His Education
After years of struggling to deal with complex documents of state and struggling to string a sentence together in important speeches US president George Bush has decided to finally complete his high school education as a part time mature student.
Read full storyBritish Airways to bring back Concorde
British Airways is to bring back the Supersonic Concorde, that last flew in October 2003, after spending upwards of £500 million on refurbishing the previously moth-balled aircraft.
Read full storyRugby World Cup Breeds New Style of Yobbo
Police are bracing themselves for a big shift in public order offences over the next few weeks, as the Rugby World Cup hots up.
Read full storyAnna Nicole Smith Taped Larry Birkhead and Howard K Stern In Oral Sex Act. XXX DVD to Follow?
As in almost all these stories, tales of wild, gay sex, possible murder, drug abuse, multiple overdoses, inevitably rumors of a sex tape comes into play. Is there a tape? Who has it? When will it surface? Is it in focus? How is the lighting?...
Read full storyRita Crosby's Best Seller, Blonde Ambition, Nothing More Than Spoof Plagiarism
Yes, that's right Rita Crosby's new book, Blonde Ambition, is nothing more than speculation already leaked to the public in TheSpoof.com. To prove the point Crosby's book released Sept. 4, 2007 claims Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern w...
Read full storyRussia successfully tests giant fuel-air bomb; its new Heterosexual Bomb to counter the U.S. Gay Bomb
Moscow, Russia - From Russia with Straight Love? After the rumored U.S. air force development of a hormone based Gay Bomb that would make enemy soldiers more interested in getting to "know" each other in the Biblical sense of the word rathe...
Read full storyRoger Federer To Undergo Mandatory Android Testing
Now that Roger Federer has won the US Open for the fourth time in a row, his 12th Grand Slam title, the USTA is taking action by having him undergo mandatory android testing. This is the first time such dramatic action has been taken since Pete Sampr...
Read full storyHeadlines from the Future: Bush found guilty in bribery scandal
Wash. DC -- A court today found former President George Bush guilty of taking more than $85 million in bribes and kickbacks, and sentenced him to life imprisonment, one year after he was ousted amid mass protests and military defections.
Read full storyTommy Lee, Kid Rock Put up their Dukes
Why did the two stars brawl at the MTV Video Music Awards show over the weekend?...
Read full storyBritney Spears Vagina Found On Sarah Silverman's Face
Everyone viewing and attending the recent MTV Video Music Awards were aghast at the lackluster performance turned in by America's sweetheart, Britney Spears. Spears looked less like a pop princess and more like a pooped princess, a zombie from th...
Read full storyNew England Patriots Apologize For Spying In NFL Game
The New England Patriots apologized for spying on the signal calling against the New York Jets in a recent NFL game. Head coach Bill Belicheck said that it was an unprofessional and unsportsmanlike conduct and that he would not do it again. The Pat...
Read full storyDennis Kucinich Secures U.S. Moslem Vote With Anti War Speeches in Middle East
Democratic Presidential hopeful and Congressman Dennis Kucinich secured the very small minority Moslem support today in his campaign for the presidency. Speaking from the Middle East, he blasted the participation in the war by the western allies.
Read full story