Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 13 September 2007

image for Lottery handout will bankroll McCanns' legal fees
Prime Monster Gorgon Brown has nodded through the Lottery handout

London - (Ass Mess): UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown is reported to have given the nod for the National Lottery's Heritage Fund to pay Kate and Gerry McCann's legal fees after various New labour cash-for-honors peers pulled out from extending their largesse.

Lord "Cashpoint" Levy was believed to be in for £100,000, Sir Richard Branson for £75,000, Lord Sainsbury for a 'guaranteed' £250,000 and Sir Stelios Haji-Ioannou for 'as many free EasyJet flights as it takes to see the Pope again'.

All have now been advised by publicist Max Clifford to hop it, according to reliable sources in the Department for Culture, Media and Sport which oversees the spreading of Lottery handouts.

Earlier in the week the McCanns were turned down for official Legal Aid backing after their combined, joint incomes of £300,000 per annum exceeded the Legal Aid earnings limit by some £292,250 per annum.

And although the couple have reportedly booked General Pinochet's defence lawyer Michael Caplan QC to represent them in any extradition hearing to Portugal if police there press charges over the disappearance of their four year old daughter Maddie, a different high profile QC is said to be "bursting with eargerness" to represent the McCanns.

Step forward Cherie Booth QC!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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