A Writer's Strike With No Picketers?
(Hollywood) - A reporter for TheSpoof.com, Andrew Lawrence, of Los Angeles, CA, was an eyewitness today to the mysterious absence of any striking writers picketing outside Universal Studios and Warner Bros Studio.
Read full storyConjoined Lowton Twin Brothers Separated
LONDON - A hospital spokesperson announced that the surgical procedure to separate the two conjoined Lowton twin brothers was a complete success.
Read full storyAnd A Happy Thanksgiving To You! IN JAIL!
Well, maybe you don't need to go to jail to have a happy Thanksgiving, but I was feeling quite Mr. Potterish today, as the GD season of peace and love creeps into my butt.
Read full storyDemocrats and Republicans Agree on National Primary Day
WASHINGTON - The chairmen of the Democratic and Republican parties announced today an agreement in which both parties would hold nationwide primary elections on the same day. At a news conference held in the restroom of a popular Georgetown bar, Demo...
Read full storyNew Banking Disaster Shakes Investor Confidence
There have been calls today for a public inquiry following revelations that the National-Universal Bank has lost nearly a million pounds of investors' money.
Read full storyGiant Lobster fossil 'not missing Maddy'
The parents of missing toddler Madeleine McCann had their hopes raised yet again after a fossilised skeleton was discovered in Germany - only to be told it was in fact the claw of a prehistoric crustacean.
Read full storyHuckabee's Serbian Heritage
Arkansas USA -- Mike Huckabee is turning on the juice in the run up to the first primaries in January. Every one in his campaign is upbeat as Iowa is within reach. "If we can take Iowa, Romney's done," smiled a staffer who declined to...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie to star in "Mother Teresa"
KOLCATA - India News Bureau - Hundreds of reporters gathered at the train station to wait for actress Angelina Jolie who was arriving in town to begin filming the rock opera version of "Mother Teresa."
Read full storyRon Paul Recovery Center Opens to Swarms of Addicts
This week in Evanston, Indiana, the first Ron Paul Addiction Recovery Center opened to swarms of patients, all desperate for reprieve from their crazed support of Republican Presidential Candidate, Ron Paul. Within the first three hours, nurses and o...
Read full storyBrown Backs Finance Minister Over U.K. Data Loss
British Prime Minister Gordon Brown is standing by his finance minister after opposition parties accused his government of incompetence and stupidity after losing confidential personal details of almost half the U.K. population.
Read full storyAlistair Darling: Out On A Limb!
Inept, and slightly camp looking, Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling is tonight said to be 'out on a limb' after a series of embarrassing blunders from his department.
Read full storyEngland drop Beckham and Bentley
England boss Steve McLaren has dropped ball bender Beckham from the squad for the England qualifier against football giants Croatia this evening. In a statement McLaren revealed; "Beckham simply couldn't be selected, as when making the shirt...
Read full storyMan sells soul on eBay
John C. Jackson of Dallas, Texas, posted his soul for sale on eBay today. The opening bid was listed at $150,000.
Read full storyRally Monkey catches rabies
The Los Angleles Angels of Anahiem, formerly known as the Anaheim Angels, Los Angeles Angels, California Angels, etc. released a press statement today saying that the beloved rally monkey of the team has been quarantined with rabies. It appears the p...
Read full storyPuppet Monarch ordered Warren Commission to erase presidential motorcade passenger list
Dallas, Texas - (Filthy Conspiracy Mess): One the eve of the 44th anniversary of the Puppet Monarch's assassination of President John F Kennedy UK secret service sources have uncovered damning evidence that Old Fatty Mountbatten leaned on the War...
Read full storyCNN announces, "We are looking Ms. America as News Reader".
Mr. Turner here in Atlanta announced today "we are looking for a proposal to be prepared for Ms. America inviting her into a contract to join CNN as News Reader".
Read full storyDiana was convinced Thought Police were bugging her brain
London - (Ass Mess): Princess Diana was convinced a hi-tech brain implant was being used by MI5 to monitor her thoughts according to her former private secretary.
Read full storySpay Your PreTeens
Sources inside the Pat Robertson - Rudy Giuliani for President campaign have just revealed how Rudy made a secret new agreement to secure the endorsement by the Christian Coalition last Wednesday.
Read full storyRepublicans Search for Savior
Trouble is a-brewing, trouble most horrid. Never in the history of the state has a President suffered with such low approval ratings. Figures released just minutes ago show that Commander and Chief's rating stands at a respectable 2%, with a 2.4%...
Read full storyJailed Mum Defends Daughter's Decision To 'Bunk Off' From School
A mother who was jailed because she failed to ensure her daughter attended school, has spoke out in defence of the girl's decision, saying that the education system is a joke, and that she, herself, never went to...
Read full story"LOST!"
In Seine news can reveal that Channel 4 and the BBC are in a race to produce a "Comedy of Errors" called Lost.
Read full storySarkozy Urges French Strikers to Accept Theft of Pension Rights By the Rich
PARIS (FMLiveWire) - French President Nicholas Sarkozy has urged striking French public sector workers to passively accept the theft of their pension rights in order to make his rich cronies "even richer."...
Read full storyDarling Security Breach Actually Just an Episode of Blackadder
The government was facing an embarrassing climbdown last night as it emerged a shocking lapse in security in which two computer discs with 25 million people's personal details on them were lost in the post, was merely a plotline for the new serie...
Read full storyKatie Price Writes Some More Crap Books
Katie Price, the wife of tiny little Australian singer Peter Andre, has released another batch of books she has been busy writing, just in time for Christmas, and those all-important stocking fillers...
Read full storyU.S. Seed contribution at the Svalbard Int'l Seed Vault rejected as counterfeit; evidence of genetically altered grain found
Some Rock Island, North Pole - Previously rejected by its two-thousand-year-old indigenous corn grower neighbors to the south in Mexico, and even starving African countries abroad, the U.S. agriculture industry received the biggest slap in its face t...
Read full storyJeb Bush is in!
Miami USA -- There was a surprise announcement today from Jeb Bush, President Bush's younger brother, that he will step up and enter the race for the GOP nomination.
Read full storyU.S. To Offer 'Winter In Waziristan' Program
(Washington) - A new U.S. educational program was launched today, sponsored by the U.S. State Dept, offering a "Winter In Waziristan" vacation to any U.S. citizen who thinks that America sucks.
Read full storyRosie O'Donnell Claims She is the Real Cracklin' Rosie
After hearing the story about Sweet Caroline being Caroline Kennedy, Rosie O'Donnell announced she is the real Cracklin' Rosie. She claims Neil Diamond once saw her in the audience of one of his concerts and she yelled out her name so loudly...
Read full story"Get stuffed" this holiday; advice from voluptuous fitness guru, Cloy Bauer
Today show nutritionist, fitness guru and founder of the Cloy Fit club, Cloy "the joy of epicurean and gluttonous behavior" Bauer says that Thanksgiving doesn't have to be feast or famine as long as you follow her advice: * Wake up in the morning on Thanksgiving Day and have lots of passionate sex on. Nobody has to be at work, and, sex lasting long enough, can stimulate yo...
Read full storyCloset Charmin squeezers come out of WC to mourn Mr. Whipple's death
Thousands of 2-ply Charmin toilet tissue closet squeezers came out today to mourn the death of Mr. Whipple. Mr. Whipple, who was famous for squeezing toilet tissue, died in Hollywood on the set of another commercial yesterday.
Read full storyThe Nude Arts
I wanted to write a story. So I needed a subject and a bunch of words. I'd go over to the computer, sit and magically release these words through my fingers into the keyboard, passing them through the hard drive, and out on the screen in order to make a story. I don't have that here. So you think I'm writing a story about not writing a story, and that's my gimmick. That's not a...
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