Giant Lobster fossil 'not missing Maddy'

Funny story written by T. Pynchon

Wednesday, 21 November 2007


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The parents of missing toddler Madeleine McCann had their hopes raised yet again after a fossilised skeleton was discovered in Germany - only to be told it was in fact the claw of a prehistoric crustacean.

They immediately gave a press conference to highlight the fact their daughter had still not been found despite their determination to investigate every possible sighting.

The 390-million-year-old specimen, which has variously been described as an 8ft long sea scorpion or a Giant Lobster, was found in a quarry near Prum.

Initial reports suggested the fossilised claw - measuring 46cm - looked distinctly human. But paleontologists, desperate to make massive headlines across the world, insisted that this claw must belong to a creature bigger than a fully grown human being.

The McCanns were immediately contacted by hundreds of journalists asking for a comment on the discovery.

Issuing a statement on behalf of the family, a spokesman said: 'It could just have been a smaller creature with a massive claw.

'I mean, look at lobsters and shrimps, they have pretty big claws, and they are even tinier than missing Maddy.

'These people are just dredging up ludicrous theories about so-called giant lobsters in a bid to get publicity.'

The giant lobster was unavailable for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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