CNN announces, "We are looking Ms. America as News Reader".

Funny story written by hussainmehdi

Wednesday, 21 November 2007


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image for CNN announces, "We are looking Ms. America as News Reader".

Mr. Turner here in Atlanta announced today "we are looking for a proposal to be prepared for Ms. America inviting her into a contract to join CNN as News Reader".

He further said, "People, perhaps have fed up with routine faces and are not concentrating on News as we want them to concentrate".

"We want to catch people's concentration, that's why we have decided to prepare a proposal for Ms. America to come in and go on the air via CNN".

He stressed an immediate need of change in news broadcastings.

He said, "Imagine! Ms. America, reading news on CNN in bikinis about bombing Iran…Oh! That's marvelous".

He said, "Hilarious news needs glamorous readers".

"We need change," he insisted.

He further released his future plan that he is moving towards a new nude news channel in which Readers will read the news in a natural dress, without social formalities".

"This trend will change the scope of news markets" he hoped.

"Of course, we are unable to change substance but, definitely we can change the flavor," he said.

He recalled his time when he started CNN years ago;

"I was so excited"

"I was dreaming that soon we will announce the news on CNN that the poverty in the United States has been completely removed"

"Soon we will announce that health care is available at the doors of each American"

"Soon we will announce that now no one in United States is homeless"

"Soon we will announce that now jobs are assured for each and every American and no one will now be bound to go on more than one job and now can fully enjoy life with family"

"But, that was a dream then, that is a dream now and that will continue to be a dream in foreseeable future"

"My Dears! I have learned from the experience that poor are necessary for a society. These begging people are the one upon whom the whole nation stands"

"Have you ever heard that kings, queens, knights, billionaires and lords and their children killed at the forefronts of wars?"

"I know 'no'"

"Those, who die, are poor like labors of queen bee, a honey insect"

"We have built our society upon the advice of insects"

"So, Ladies and Gentlemen! Please watch our news channel and follow mindset and keep yourselves with in this"
saying he ended his speech.

He seemed to be a little upset at the end of his speech.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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