Spay Your PreTeens

Written by TheOneLaw

Wednesday, 21 November 2007

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Republican Presidential Candidate Rudy Giuliani

Sources inside the Pat Robertson - Rudy Giuliani for President campaign have just revealed how Rudy made a secret new agreement to secure the endorsement by the Christian Coalition last Wednesday.

Rudy, under advice from his close confidante Texas governor Rick Perry, discovered a way to mollify the Christian Right's concerns about his abortion stance. Perry convinced Rudy that the best way to end all the negative press was to kneecap the arguments 'behind the scenes' in private dealings with Robertson and his advisers. It was just a small step from Governor Perry's Texas lawmaking playbook strategy of legislating requirements that all prepubescent teenage girls be vaccinated for venereal disease at their schools.

The wild success Governor Perry had in the Lone Star state in getting the young girls vaccinated so Texas schoolgirls could compete in 'the big leagues' sexually against neighboring states which had younger deflowering ages prompted an observation that grew into a backroom success story for Giuliani.

The answer to Giuliani's dilemma with the Christian right was to agree to push for public sterilization to accompany the schoolyard vaccinations. By performing the sterilization at the same time as the vaccination, considerable funds could be saved. The idea of sterilizing preteen girls had been mooted privately by such staunch Republican supporters as the Aryan Nations and KKK, but never had such a vision been planned for a nationwide implementation.

Rudy sat down with Perry and Robertson for almost two days to hammer out the details of how this plan could be built into the Republican convention platform. The key to agreement lay in building an IRS tax credit into every parents tax return for each year their daughters remain spayed. The details of the plan will be announced during Rudy's acceptance speech when the RNC decrees him to be the winner of the Republican nomination.

This is the second time during his campaign for the Presidency that Rudy has scored big with children - see also
Little Boys recruiting donors for Rudy Giuliani Campaign

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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