New York - (Ass Mess): Dismayed at fundamentalist Christian hogwash about a Manhattan gallery's 200lb chocolate Jesus sculpture being offensive an entrepreneurial candy manufacturer has rushed out an order for five million choccy Jesus crucifixes just in time for Holy Week festivities.
"We have a great range including the cherry fondant-filled choccy Jesus," said a PR aide for the Chews-for-Jesus Candy Company.
"It's very realistic looking and the yummy filling even oozes like blood when you crunch on the torso.
"The lime cream version maybe looks a bit rancid for some people's taste. But we think the tangy citrus flavor sure makes up for any negative visual."
In addition to those novelty items the candy manufacturer is also bringing out a choccy Judas Iscariot, complete with thirty foil-wrapped choccy coins.
And a foil-covered choccy Virgin Mary which reveals a traditional New Testament-style bikini once the holy vestment wrappers come off.
All the candy items go on sale on April 1st, the satirists' saint's day of holy obligation.
