Give us Barabbas

Funny story written by blewkarma

Saturday, 31 March 2007

image for Give us Barabbas

Lost Gospel Barabbas Reveals; He Knew Jesus' true identity
By Roger Turgid :For
Moloch The Plutocracy

With a plot twist worthy of The Da Vinci Code, the gospel -
13 papyrus sheets bound
in leather and found in a dumpster,
outside a Piggy-Wiggly, grocery store,
in Gary Indiana - purports to relate
the last days of Jesus' life,
from the viewpoint of one Barabbas
thought to be a Zealot but recently
discovered to be one of Jesus' first follower.

Coptic studies scholar Sir Carrion Crowfoot of
Germany's Herman Muenster University. said

He added
"It contradicts conventional Christian teaching
that he was a
thief and Zealot insurrectionist."

In this gospel,he is a
hero, and Jesus' most senior and trusted
PR Handler and the only one
who knew Jesus' true identity

The manuscript claims
that he revealed 'secret knowledge' to Jesus,
while camped in the desert one night.
It gives a completely new account of
the lads relationship when
held in prison under the Roman authorities

The gospel goes on to relate why
Jesus hired 'Handled Messiahs INC., Barabbas's
'Public Relations firm and that,
rather than acting
out of greed or malice,
he was simply attempting
to 'save' Jesus from an unruly
mob of Zealots when
Roman soldiers led them
both away, with The Insurgents.'
Dr. Crowfoot added.

The gospel also has Barabbas
relating to Jesus a New Creation Myth
which was related to him in an
exclusive interview with God The Father.
This is an account of humankind's origins,
which suggest God didn't create the world
for the reasons proclaimed in conventional
Christian belief.

A key passage, when the lads first met
in the desert has Barabbas telling Jesus
"Bet that suit cost a pretty penny, my Pop's always said;
'It's the clothes that make the man' Dr Crowfoot stated

'This passage clearly reflects the view that
material things are not traps for the inner soul, and also
suggests a form of mysticism found in some early
Jewish thought which largely carries through till today

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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