Womble wins Wimbledon

Funny story: Womble wins Wimbledon

In a surprise twist in the tennis world, an unseeded Womble has won Wimbledon. The furry creature, named Tomsk, won the annual tennis contest controversially when his opponents were all disqualified for littering.

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"Everything Is Crap" - Dr Zygote

Funny story: "Everything Is Crap" - Dr Zygote

The world-famous spiritual guru and eminent psychic Dr Krushchev T Zygote today revealed to an astonished world that EVERYTHING is "crap".

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Mick Jagger Calls it Quits After Plastic Surgery Fiasco

Funny story: Mick Jagger Calls it Quits After Plastic Surgery Fiasco

Breaking News! Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger has just announced that he plans to retire. This comes only days after the rock crooner held a press conference to discuss his recent plastic surgery, which apparently went dreadfully wrong.

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Homeland Security Director Chertoff Announces New Regulation for Commercial Flights

Funny story: Homeland Security Director Chertoff Announces New Regulation for Commercial Flights

Michael Chertoff, Director of the Department of Homeland Security, announced today the implementation of new rules for airline travelers. Whereas, in the past, the focus had been on preventing explosive devices from being carried aboard commercial a...

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New Seven Wonders of the World released, based on Taliban's all-time favorite hit list

Funny story: New Seven Wonders of the World released, based on Taliban's all-time favorite hit list

High Sierra, Afghanistan - After the Taliban blew up the giant Buddha statue in Bamiyan, Afghanistan in 2001, top Taliban commanders have not conducted a poll to determine their all-time favorite targets they wished to destroy until today. On their a...

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USS Kitty Hawk 'Bumps' into Sydney Harbour Bridge

Funny story: USS Kitty Hawk 'Bumps' into Sydney Harbour Bridge

SYDNEY (Aust.) -- The U.S. navies largest floating airport has accidentally run into the Sydney Harbour Bridge. A big chunk fell out.

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Man held hostage by own moustache freed by SAS squad.

Funny story: Man held hostage by own moustache freed by SAS squad.

Lancaster- England. Reports are filtering through that a man named locally as Mark Lowton has been freed from captivity by a crack team of the SAS's newly formed specialist depilatory attack division.

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Baboon Bums Enhance Women

BEVERLY HILLS (Calf.) EXCLUSIVE-- It is not widely known that baboon bottoms are as 'soft' as a babies, and that the hairless reddish color becomes soft toned on being deceased. They are 'perfect' for enhancing women's bosoms. H...

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MMR quack doctor Wakefield suspected of recruiting NHS terrorists

Funny story: MMR quack doctor Wakefield suspected of recruiting NHS terrorists

London - (Ass Mess): UK police investigating the foreign terorists who constructed car bombs for detonation in London and Glasgow have said they are probing links that they were recruited by MMR triple-jab quack doctor Andrew Wakefield.

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Drug abuse during pregnancy and not MMR jab responsible for autism

Funny story: Drug abuse during pregnancy and not MMR jab responsible for autism

Cambridge - (As Mess): A team of Cambridge immunologists has come up with the unorthodox findings that smoking, overdoing alcohol, prescription drugs, cannabis and other narcotics such as cocaine and E tabs is directly linked to autism in children.

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So where did the $100 million Live Earth profits go?

Funny story: So where did the $100 million Live Earth profits go?

New Yotk - (Ass Mess): An estimated $100 million profit was made from the weekend's Live Earth concerts around the globe. But anybody thinking this might have been donated to noble good causes such as the Tsunami Relief Fund or the victims of Hu...

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Easy Jet? 'Not Any More!' says Stelios

Funny story: Easy Jet? 'Not Any More!' says Stelios

LONDON. Breaking the tradition of years, and every one of the aims and strategies that has held the famous 'easy' company in good stead, Stelios Anjwoydasomething-i-don't-know-your-surname had recently announced the new dangerous, daring...

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Revealed: secrets that Miss England hid from her rivals

Funny story: Revealed: secrets that Miss England hid from her rivals

London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Glamorous looks and a toned young body. You'd think that the newly crowned Miss England is the ultimate pin up with a big chance of winning the next Miss World competition.

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Kate Middleton's sacrifice for William

Funny story: Kate Middleton's sacrifice for William

London - (Ass Mess): Some women sacrifice their virginity. Some sacrifice careers. And some even sacrifice entire well-planned futures all for the sake of that special man.

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New Sex Toy Set To Take UK BY Storm

Funny story: New Sex Toy Set To Take UK BY Storm

Sex Shop chain, Anne Summers, has today revealed what it hopes will be its new best seller.

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Live Earth sparks lively dispute

Funny story: Live Earth sparks lively dispute

An estimated 1.8 billion people attended or watched broadcasts of pop concerts in more than 500 venues around the world on July 6 as part of "Live Earth", a global music marathon organized by former US vice president Al Gor...

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Labour and the Conservatives to unite

Funny story: Labour and the Conservatives to unite

Speculation is mounting of a dramatic realignment in British politics that will see the Labour Party and the Conservative party unite to form a permanent alliance, and ultimately a new party, the United Democratic Party of Great Britain or UDP.

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Kim Jong Il Checks Into Rehab

Funny story: Kim Jong Il Checks Into Rehab

(MUSICMAN PRESS) MUSICMAN'S own Wang Chang Chow, of North Korea, reported to us that the hard-nosed dictator Kim Jong Ill, has checked into a Californian rehabilitation center. He also said that Kim was listed in the center as a substance abuse p...

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Ron Paul Campaign Resorts to Cloning for Fund Raising Boost

Funny story: Ron Paul Campaign Resorts to Cloning for Fund Raising Boost

It is a well known fact that all Ron Paul supporters are a bunch of fanatical web programmers that spend their entire natural lives creating bots to spam online polls. Ron Paul ever the opportunist has decided that he can use this tactic in his fund...

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Worlds Earliest Being Linked to Rush Limbaugh

Funny story: Worlds Earliest Being Linked to Rush Limbaugh

APE Line News - Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh was caught by surprise by news that his DNA is nearly an exact match with Luther, a 3 billion year old humanoid from the Crustatian period.

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New String Theory: The Universe is Made of Duct Tape

Funny story: New String Theory: The Universe is Made of Duct Tape

Hardly University's finest have won a Nobel Prize in physics for their newest paper, "Tape it Up," which explains the ultimate theory of life, the universe and everything. Atoms and the tiniest particles known are not made of indescrib...

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Werewolf Extinction?

Funny story: Werewolf Extinction?

First the snowmen now the werewolves, Professor Ima Dorc of Hardley University is again warning of the possible extinction of a near-human species.

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Spongebob Unhappy with Bottom Expansion

Funny story: Spongebob Unhappy with Bottom Expansion

"This is not what Bikini Bottom is supposed to be like," complains Mr.Squarepants. The success of his show has people moving to the Bottom by the dozens. The population increase has pushed the patty capacity of the Krusty Krab to the limi...

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Blue Spaghetti for Healthy Kids

Funny story: Blue Spaghetti for Healthy Kids

Healthy eating is in and companies are trying to devise ways to disguise healthy foods in children's meals. "Every one knows children will not eat anything they know is good for them, so we have to make it look unnatural and unhealthy,"...

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Bush Unveils "No Terrorist Left Behind" Plan

Funny story: Bush Unveils "No Terrorist Left Behind" Plan

Speaking to the nation from the Oval Office last evening, President George W. Bush unveiled a new plan for identifying international terrorists who are currently in the United States illegally. Similar to administration plans for identifying and leg...

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Canada warns on fake Chinese toilet paper

Funny story: Canada warns on fake Chinese toilet paper

NEW YORK (Rooters) -- Canada has alerted consumers to the dangers of fake Chinese toilet paper containing industrial solvent and dangerous bacteria.

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Desperate to be a housewife opens taco stand

Funny story: Desperate to be a housewife opens taco stand

LOS ANGELES (Calf.) -- Desperate to be a housewife (and now a done deal) Eva Longoria, is opening her very own celebrity taco stand in LA.

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