Lancaster- England. Reports are filtering through that a man named locally as Mark Lowton has been freed from captivity by a crack team of the SAS's newly formed specialist depilatory attack division.
Mr Lowton, had been held captive by the militant moustache in protest at the war in Iraq, the tache had previously threatened in a video aired on Al Jazeera television that unless Britain withdrew its forces immediately a follicle Jihad would be called and Mr Lowton would be the Yeti of York within 3 weeks.
A small explosion was the only giveaway to the sophisticated and flawless operation that swung into action this morning at 5am in Gordon Street, Lancaster as shadowy figures threw smoke grenades through the door of the modest terraced house.
Some small arms fire was heard and shouts of "On the bed!!!! Spread Em!!!!!! shattered the early morning tranquility.
A senior officer spoke to our reporter who couldn't keep a straight face as he declared the operation a success.
"It went well, the men have trained for just this type of operation and knew exactly what to do, there was no time for shaving, razors, Gillette or otherwise are useless when dealing with a Taliban type 3 moustache.
"We had to wax but he'll recover, at least he's alive"
Mr Lowton, his head covered as they loaded him into the ambulance cried softly and whispered almost silently,
"They gave me a back, crack and sack, I tried to fight them off but they were too strong!"
