Judge Orders Government to Pay $101M for Wrongful Convictions framed by George W Bush

Funny story: Judge Orders Government to Pay $101M for Wrongful Convictions framed by George W Bush

Boston, Mass - (Ass Mess): US District Judge Nancy Gertner ruled today that the government must pay $101.7 million compensattion to the families of four men that George W Bush framed along with bent FBI agents for the 1965 gangland murder of Edward D...

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No more thongs, g-strings or split-crotch rubber panties at Tennessee jails

Memphis, Tennessee - (Ass Mess): The Tennessee Department of Correction has clamped down hard on visitors' provocative underwear.

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Psychiatrists Will Attempt to Change Light Bulb

Funny story: Psychiatrists Will Attempt to Change Light Bulb

Belleview, New York (IP) - Psychiatrists at this famous psychiatric hospital will attempt to change a light bulb.

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Diogenetic Scientists Seek Woman with a Sense of Humor

Funny story: Diogenetic Scientists Seek Woman with a Sense of Humor

Mt Palomar, California (IP) - Scientists from this campus have set loose a team of specialists to seek out a woman with a sense of humor. This team is composed of all damn Mexicans because of the rising cost of hiring English speaking technicians at...

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Chiefs of Los Angeles Police and Fire Departments make bold changes aimed at lowering reported crime and fires

Funny story: Chiefs of Los Angeles Police and Fire Departments make bold changes aimed at lowering reported crime and fires

June 21, 2007 Ed Soks, General Manager of LA Animal Services R Us, sent out a press release stating that they will only accept animals from the public during a small inconvenient window of time midweek. He did this in the hopes of reducing his euthan...

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Scientist Create Objects From Reverse Farting

Funny story: Scientist Create Objects From Reverse Farting

Bean City, Florida (IP) - Scientists are using reverse flatulence to create solid objects. The first object created was a bean which seems related to pork and beans according to its molecular structure.

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Fears Grow for Game as Arsenal Takeover Imminent

Funny story: Fears Grow for Game as Arsenal Takeover Imminent

Apprehension was growing today that a bid by Formula One supremo Barmie Ecclescake may signal the start of a spate of takeovers by British nationals for Premiership clubs.

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U.S. must pay $1.00 to men framed by FBI

Funny story: U.S. must pay $1.00 to men framed by FBI

BOSTON, Massachusetts (Rooters) -- A federal judge Thursday ordered the government to pay more than $1.00 in the case of four men who spent decades in prison for a 1965 charge of stealing a block of cheese after the FBI withheld evidence of their in...

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Snoop Dogg: Michael Vick is innocent

Funny story: Snoop Dogg: Michael Vick is innocent

Hip-hop sensation Snoop Doggy Dog took time off from his court battle against Snoopy the dog to say that his friend is innocent of all dog fighting charges. "The entire Dog Pound is behind him." Greg 'the sniffle' Biffle said, &qu...

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Bush announces his plan to destroy America

Funny story: Bush announces his plan to destroy America

According to White House sources, President George W. Bush has begun a campaign to destroy the U.S. economy in order to combat illegal immigration and terrorism.

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Lindsay Lohan busted with the fine white sugar

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan busted with the fine white sugar

Today Lindsay Lohan managed to make a bigger fool of herself than most people thought possible. She has been caught driving intoxicated (again) and possessed several bags of powdered substance thought to be crack cocaine.

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Top 4 Reasons I Hate My Weatherman

Here are the top four reasons why I hate my weatherman.

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Dow plunges 200 points amid Bush disgusting rumor fears

Funny story: Dow plunges 200 points amid Bush disgusting rumor fears

New York - (Ass Mess): Wall Street reacted sharply Thursday amid persistent rumors that George W Bush is to be outed for deliberately leaning on British prosecutors to quash the cash-for-peerages police investigation which last week exonerated ex-UK...

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The kitty they call Dr Death

Funny story: The kitty they call Dr Death

Providence, Rhode Island - (Ass Mess): Providence, an olden-English word meaning "foreseeing care and guidance of God Almighty or of nature over the creatures of the earth", is generally associated with good-fortune and maybe a gu...

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Rotting foot and mouth corpse burial grounds add to flood misery

Funny story: Rotting foot and mouth corpse burial grounds add to flood misery

England - (Rioters): Enlightened Department for Afgriculture, Fisheries and Food policies to bury over 50 million farm animal corpses following the 2001 mad cow disease and the foot and mouth outbreaks are threatening to poison the entire nation as f...

Read full story View 'Rotting foot and mouth corpse burial grounds add to flood misery'

Bill O'Reilly Calls Kettle Black, Pots Run For Cover

After successfully grounding Jet Blue for sponsoring a Daily KOS conference, O'Reilly shouted down what he claims is hate speech on the site. Comparing the unedited posts on the site to hate speech by David Duke, O'Reilly collectively offended liberals and neo-Nazis alike in one fell swoop. In doing so, the normally savvy pundit severely damaged his image, appearing more like a cranky, old...

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Thames Water imposes hosepipe ban

Funny story: Thames Water imposes hosepipe ban

Thames Valley, UK - (Ass Mess): As South East England drinking water supplies trickled to an all-time low today Thames Water has vowed to impose a hosepipe ban to avert a predicted national disaster.

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Leeds United To Start New Season Minus A Goalkeeper

Funny story: Leeds United To Start New Season Minus A Goalkeeper

Leeds United, the once-great giants of European football, as well as the English domestic game, face starting their League One campaign without a recognised custodian of the net.

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Waiter at P.F. Chang's Doesn't Know What "P.F." Stands For

Funny story: Waiter at P.F. Chang's Doesn't Know What "P.F." Stands For

BURBANK, Calif. (Heewack News Network) -- A waiter at a P.F. Chang's China Bistro in Burbank Town Center failed to inspire confidence in his customers when he could not tell them what the "P.F." stood for.

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Tricky Ricky Stripped of NASCAR Trophy

Funny story: Tricky Ricky Stripped of NASCAR Trophy

DAYTONA - The trophy that sat on the mantle in the log cabin of the Trickster was forcibly removed by NASCAR officials yesterday. Ricky, who won the race by a margin of 55 laps, was disqualified for driving the last ten laps in reverse. A pit-crew...

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Cat "senses death" in reincarnation mystery

Funny story: Cat "senses death" in reincarnation mystery

A US cat that is reportedly able to sense when a nursing home's residents are about to die is baffling doctors. Shipman the cat has a habit of curling up next to patients at the home in Providence, Rhode Island, in their final hours.

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'02 Arena' Bought Out - Renamed 'Tesco Big White Tent Thing'

Funny story: '02 Arena' Bought Out - Renamed 'Tesco Big White Tent Thing'

LONDON - Yes. We all knew it. The O2 Arena in London, previously called the Millennium Doom - I mean - Dome, has been been bought out by a conglomerate of two firms. The first, with a 49% stake in the pie is the groc...

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News International suprise bid for TheSpoof.com

Funny story: News International suprise bid for TheSpoof.com

Rupert Murdocks News International have stunned the Stock Exchange by offering an undisclosed sum for the highly acclaimed website TheSpoof.com.

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Indian Govt. announces voting to gauge public-opinion on national issues

Funny story: Indian Govt. announces voting to gauge public-opinion on national issues

(Delhi,India - Hajh Times) After Taj Mahal's selection as one of the 7 wonders of the world, the Indian Government has announced public-voting to gauge public opinion on issues of national importance. Furthermore, the Government, along with a few international bodies, have also decide to settle, once and for all, the issue of whether or not public voting is a fair mechanism to choose the wonde...

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SADO Olympics get the go-ahead

Funny story: SADO Olympics get the go-ahead

The International Olympics Committee (I.O.C. ) have given the go-ahead for the Steroid and Drugtakers Olympics to take place.

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Lindsay Lohan's Drug Possession a "Misunderstanding"

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan's Drug Possession a "Misunderstanding"

Lindsay Lohan straightened out the rumors that she was driving drunk, under suspension and in possession of cocaine.

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ECB to consider underwater 20/20 match

Funny story: ECB to consider underwater 20/20 match

Following the decimation of the County 20/20 competition the ECB has announced it is to organise an Underwater 20/20 knock out cup.

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Smoker's rebellion: Apes used in terror campaign

Funny story: Smoker's rebellion: Apes used in terror campaign

In a bizarre twist to the TITS (Tobacco Is The Shit) terror campaign of smoking ban disobedience, a breakaway group, known as the Real TITS, have been placing large apes in public houses and are encouraging them to smoke. Landlords are powerless to s...

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Save The Smoker

Funny story: Save The Smoker

Breaking News (Bumble Bee Corporation) - A new Charity has been set up after studies have revealed that Smokers are an endangered species. The study also maintains that within as little as 5 years there will be no smokers left.

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Big Brother House To Take In Flood Victims

Funny story: Big Brother House To Take In Flood Victims

DAY 58: Channel 4 last night announced that it is to help with the flooding crisis sweeping Britain at the moment, by allowing six newly-made-homeless people enter the Big Brother Ho...

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TheSpoof.com writer to be disciplined

Funny story: TheSpoof.com writer to be disciplined

A regular writer for TheSpoof.com was today carpeted by bosses for having admitted being drunk, and then filing a completely false story that senior managers called "A catalogue of lies and deception"...

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God dies live on internet: "Bullocks" say Welsh

Funny story: God dies live on internet: "Bullocks" say Welsh

Shambo, the Hindu God was today removed from his place in front of a webcam, to another place, and unritualistically slaughtered, much to the chagrin of his many followers. Many of those followers had not heard of his existence several weeks ago, but...

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Tour de France In Disarray As 'Clean Rider' Is Discovered

Funny story: Tour de France In Disarray As 'Clean Rider' Is Discovered

The Tour de France cycle race was thrown into more chaos last night when it was discovered that one of the cyclists was completely free from drugs.

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Retired Muppet may not be headed to Atlanta afterall

Funny story: Retired Muppet may not be headed to Atlanta afterall

ATLANTA (Reuterus) - The Center for Puppetry Arts in Atlanta has agreed to accept "The Muppet Show" collection from the family of creator Jim Henson, with one exception.

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'Hand of God' appears out of Left Field to thwart Barry Bonds Home Run Record Attempt

Funny story: 'Hand of God' appears out of Left Field to thwart Barry Bonds Home Run Record Attempt

SAN FRANCISCO (Lumberg) - The 'Hand of God' repeatedly made an appearance on Wednesday, preventing Barry Bonds from hitting any further home runs.

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George W.Bush caught naked with Paris Hilton and smoking marijuana

Funny story: George W.Bush caught naked with Paris Hilton and smoking marijuana

Washington D.C. (Rooters) - George W.Bush was caught naked in the back of his limo with party girl Paris Hilton. He was on his way to a meeting with the vice president when it happened.

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Lindsay Lohan Starts Celebrity Movement Against DUI Laws

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Starts Celebrity Movement Against DUI Laws

With the recent DUI troubles of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, a celebrity movement is forming to push back against stiff DWI laws. Lindsay Lohan has become something of a poster child for the movement due to her late...

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Ford Going Retro?

Funny story: Ford Going Retro?

Ford Motor Company (NYSE: F) may be taking the retro concept to a new level if industry rumors are correct. Insiders say that Ford has plans to introduce a new line of cars going all the way back to the original vehicles produced by...

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Anti-Bigotry Drug Shows Promise

Funny story: Anti-Bigotry Drug Shows Promise

Medical journals have reported that early trials of a new anti-bigotry drug have shown promising results. The drug, known as "antiprej", was recently tested on a group of Bush Administration policymakers and officials from some well-known...

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Lindsay Lohan, "I'm An Innocent Victim!" Paris Hilton responds, "Yeah right!"

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan, "I'm An Innocent Victim!" Paris Hilton responds, "Yeah right!"

Lindsay Lohan has been caught again, this time after a second stint of rehab. Lohan was allegedly arrested for cocaine possession and DUI, but she has strongly proclaimed her innocence. "I strongly proclaim my innocence," said Lohan, "...

Read full story View 'Lindsay Lohan, "I'm An Innocent Victim!" Paris Hilton responds, "Yeah right!"'

Prince Charles Endorses Ron Paul!

Funny story: Prince Charles Endorses Ron Paul!

Prince Charles today shocked the British public by endorsing a U.S. Presidential candidate and pledging several lesser known pieces of the Royal Crown Jewels to be auctioned as a fundraiser for American Ron Paul.

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The World Ended and WE Didn't Notice

While no one was looking, the world ended. The vast and most intriguing proof of this termination of all that is good and/or holy is the presence of the (I have to borrow from a movie title here) 'Scent of a Woman'. Quietly and with a vehemence...

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Lindsay Lohan Says Cocaine Was Not Mine To Police

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Says Cocaine Was Not Mine To Police

Lindsay Lohan, stopped for a D.W.I. and for chasing another car, denied that the baggie of cocaine found in her pants pocket belonged to her. "The coke wasn't mine," said a tearful starlet to investigating officers. "I'm not...

Read full story View 'Lindsay Lohan Says Cocaine Was Not Mine To Police'
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