Jesus Appears in new Video Spouting Anti-Bush Rhetoric
Jesus Christ, AKA "King of Kings", appeared once again in a new video obtained surreptitiously by CBN, in which he chose yet again to denounce the failed policies of the Bush administration.
Read full storyBBC Admits Coronation 'faked'
The year - 1953. The place - the front rooms of England. The occasion - the Coronation of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
Read full storyMost Unique Things Found in Bras
A recent episode of the popular TV show "Cops" aired a list of the top ten most common items found in bras while doing searches. Among the most popular were of course drugs, money, and personal items. The show also revealed a list of the ten most unique items found:...
Read full storyPerez Hilton to be sworn in as Israeli President?
MANHATTAN (NY,NY) -- Perez Hilton is the Internet's most devilish gossip columnist and he currently resides in Manhattan with his pet poodle Mariel. His signature colors are blush and bashful. His favorite drink is a Viagra Martini, and his motto...
Read full storyColorado coup d'etat fails as man shot in Governor Ritter's office
Denver, Colorado - (Rioters): An attempted coup d'etat in the Governor of Colorado's office has been foiled after an unidentified armed man was shot dead outside Gov Bill Ritter's office.
Read full storyBarack Obama Wants to give You a few Bucks
CAMPAIGN TRAIL (FundRaisings) -- Barack Obama called an extraordinary press conference today, in which he said that if chosen the Democrat to run for President, he wanted to give every American consumer five dollars.
Read full storyJK Rowling milking attention in little Maddie disappearance
London - (Rotters): The felonious fraudster writer claiming authoriship of the Harry Potter stories, JK Rowling, has ratcheted up the grief stakes by insisting the launch of the seventh and final book of the series this weekend is accompanied by an a...
Read full storyDavid Icke defends his MMR fiasco quack doctor son
London - (Rioters): Daftass conspiracy nutter and former British footballer David Icke has defended his quack doctor son Andrew Wakefield who is facing a General Medical Council gross misconduct hearing.
Read full storyFour Russian spooks booted out of London
Whitehall, London SW1 - (Ass Mess): Four of Russia's top intelligence (sic) officers reporting directly to Saudi ex-ambassador to the USA Prince Bandar have been given the boot by the Foreign Office and told to pack their kit by Wednesday.
Read full storyProtect Yourself from Terroristic Toothpaste
With the recent recalls and health concerns in China, more Americans than ever are concerned about the safety of their own toothpaste here at home. Here are three tips for protecting your family from toothpaste terrors. * Use only toothpaste you know and trust.
Read full storyActress Courtney Thorne-Smith Announces She's Expecting Three Babies
Triplets? Not exactly. Baby No. 1, her first child, is the one the 39-year-old actress is expecting this winter with hubby Roger Fishman, who owns a media company. The couple will celebrate their first wedding anniversary this coming January.
Read full storyColorAlphabet New Official Language of US
A color-based letter system developed by artist Christian Faur was recently adopted by the United States as the new official language.
Read full storyiPods, lightning and "heavy metal" incur wrath of God, claims New England Journal of Medicine
Los Angeles, California - The New England Journal of Medicine warns iPod users this week not to tempt fate in these final days as we wait upon the judgment by wearing iPods, during a thunderstorm and especially while listening to 'heavy metal,...
Read full storyBourn-ill - Cadbury's Ethical Salmonella Chocolate Bar
BIRMINGHAM - Whilst the country stuff themselves full to bursting point with dodgy high priced Weight Watcher and Slim-Fast products, the Birmingham manufacturer of top quality chocolate has revealed in a press conference that they deliberately made...
Read full storyCrap Circles Explained by Scientist
Cornwallis, Kansas (IP) - Dr. Hinkey Von Stinkey has issued a revolutionary report in reference to mysterious crap circles found in crap fields all over the planet.
Read full storyArcheologist Discover Basque People are Alien Rejects
Barcelona, Spain (IP) - Archaelogist Dr. Faqian EcheZaballa (DR. EZ) has found conclusive evidence that the Basque people who occupy an area between France and Spain were definitely thrown out of an alien flying saucer thousands of years ago.
Read full storyPoland Outlaws Breast Feeding Will Land Person on the Sun
Warsaw Grouper, Poland (IP) - The Polish Parliament has outlawed breast feeding in Poland because it hurts Polish women too much when they boil their nipples before feeding their babies.
Read full storyRunning of the Bulls on Wall Street
New York, New York (IP) - The periodic running of the bulls is well underway on Wall Street. So far the only injuries have fallen upon the sluggish bears. Some of the bears are so chronically pessimistic that they have been compared to a stopped cl...
Read full storyAmericans To Direct Deposit Paychecks To Oil And Insurance Companies
Wall Street (IP) - Executives on Wall Street have come up with a much more efficient way for Americans to pay for their gas and insurance. The middle class (what is left of it) will have their entire paychecks direct deposited into their gas station...
Read full storyDoctors should have the right to remove people's organs
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Doctors should have the right to remove people's organs according to Britain's top medical adviser.
Read full storyHollywood women are so fat says Victoria Beckham
Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): Accomplished self-publicist and human flagship for bulimia nervosa Victoria Beckham has told the LA press that "Hollywood women are fat, ugly, scruffy and mostly drunk".
Read full storyPolice Raid Three Premiership Clubs In Binge-Drinking Investigation
Police have raided three top football clubs today as part of a nationwide investigation into binge-drinking in the game.
Read full storyDivine omen for Pat Robertson as religious book-peddler struck by lightning
Florida - (Ass mess): The US's top charismatic, evangelical, superstition-peddling preacher Reverend Pat Robertson has finally received the divine omen he has been waiting for all his life as a bolt from the blue struck a fellow fundamentalist wi...
Read full storyFacebook Profiles to Replace CVs by 2010
In its continuing bid to become more relevant to young people, the Government announced controversial new recruitment measures today. From 2010, applicants for any UK job vacancy will be required to submit a copy of their Facebook profile to potentia...
Read full storyBritain's new PM In Hush Money Scandal
Britain's brand new PM has been paying a tramp wads of cash to keep zipped about an episode from his past. Gordon Brown at the age of 21 told the tramp that he loved him and let him braid his hair. The tramp who goes by the name of Sorro gave us...
Read full storyNorfolk Police Call in Psychologist
The search is on for the owner of a pair of manky trainers, left side by side on a Norfolk beach.
Read full storyBoris Goes For Mayor - Ken Laughs Out Loud
Boris Johnson has tossed his hat into the ring as possible candidate for London Mayor, causing "Red" Ken Livingstone to choke on his jellied eels today.
Read full storyBritish Army Blamed For 'Death Badgers'
British forces in Iraq have come under fire from Iraqi civilians after rumours that they had introduced ferocious, man-eating badgers onto the streets of Basra in the south of the country.
Read full storyRampant Sewage Forms Giant Death Lizards in China
Today the Chinese government has been found guilty of covering up the deaths of nearly three quarters of a million people caused by rampant pollution.
Read full storyMystic Merlin, the Royal Wizard, forms all the Crop-Circles
The royal wizard, Mystic Merlin, is responsible for forming all the crop-circles in the fields of wheat-shire England. The wizard says he does this with pure mind over matter, just like Uri-Geller bends spoons, except MERLIN Bends corn and forms larg...
Read full storyDavo C Slams "Government of Living Dead"
Conservative party leader David Cameroon has hit out at the Labour party for being a bunch of "old farts, farting out dated policies". Mr Cameroon recently attacked the Labour party at the dispatch box for being the "Government of the...
Read full storyRecord Sales for Japan After Quake
Johnny Kidd & The Pirates went straight in at no.1 in the Japanese chart with their hit single "Shakin' all Over". The No.2 spot was taken by Jerry Lee Lewis with "Shake, Baby, Shake" and the no.3 was a new entry by The Beatle...
Read full storyForgotten City To Be Officially Forgotten
The sunken 'Forgotten City' of Hull in East Yorkshire, so-called because of the lack of government assistance it received in the wake of the recent flooding, is to be 'officially forgotten' according to an announcement from Downing Street this mornin…
Read full storyOsama bin Laden Issues Fatwa Against Ron Paul
Osama bin Laden has declared a new target for Al Qaeda, and his sights are on Ron Paul, a third-tier Republican candidate for Congress. Al Jazeera showed a short video, apparently from early July, of bin Laden speaking about the thre...
Read full storyAl Gore Warns: Mount Everest Impacted Dramatically by Global Warming
Al Gore has begun a new documentary, featuring how global warming has hit the Himalayas especially hard. Recent expeditions to Mt. Everest are becoming quite a let down for the rugged souls ready to risk their lives to reach the summit.
Read full storyG.W Bush Presidential Library Breaks Ground
Today near Stone Mountain Georgia, a quiet ground breaking ceremony was held on the future site of The George W. Bush Presidential Library. Led by master of ceremony Karl Rove, a invite only crowd of Republican leaders, main stream media right winge...
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