Hollywood women are so fat says Victoria Beckham

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 16 July 2007

image for Hollywood women are so fat says Victoria Beckham
Beckham sees all LA women as bloated drunks

Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): Accomplished self-publicist and human flagship for bulimia nervosa Victoria Beckham has told the LA press that "Hollywood women are fat, ugly, scruffy and mostly drunk".

Speaking to reporters this weekend Beckham said: "Just look at that Paris Hilton for instance.

"Drink has ravaged her once youthful looks and she looks positively flabby after her trip to jail.

"I blame the US cookie-culture. Women are always stuffing their faces and getting sloshed on booze.

"It must be because their self-esteem is so low.

"My own self-esteem is pretty good on the other hand.

"That's because I have managed to pull off a few good PR stunts in my life and raked in the profits.

"People come up to me and say 'I just can't believe you're 33, you don't look a day over 21!'

"And do you know what? Neither can I!

"I put it all down to a happy mariage, a faithful husband and naturally youthful good looks inherited from my mother.

"Of course a little bit of beauty salon pampering never hurts. But of course it can only enhance what's naturally beautiful in the first place."

David Beckham is 31.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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