iPods, lightning and "heavy metal" incur wrath of God, claims New England Journal of Medicine

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Monday, 16 July 2007

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iPods, lightning and 'heavy metal' incur wrath of God, so watch what you listen to. You know who maybe listening too

Los Angeles, California - The New England Journal of Medicine warns iPod users this week not to tempt fate in these final days as we wait upon the judgment by wearing iPods, during a thunderstorm and especially while listening to 'heavy metal,' the combination has a tendency to invoke the wrath of the almighty prematurely, the report claims.

The New England Journal of Medicine cites a case in 2005 where a 35-year-old male in Vancouver, Canada was struck by lightning while jogging in a thunderstorm wearing his iPod. The burns sustained were consistent with the position of the earphone wires on his chest and iPod on the man's hip, said doctors.

In another case, just last year, a 17-year-old, Jason Bunch, in Castle Rock, Colorado was also struck by lightning while wearing his iPod, but he was listening to Metallica's second album titled, 'Ride the lightning."

"It's not that God does not like iPods or 'heavy metal," said Father Juan Gonzales, a Catholic priest. "In fact, I hear he likes Iron Butterfly. Its just that it was too ironic of a situation for God to pass up. This should prove, however, that God has a sense of humor too."

Apple engineers agree, "We do not believe that iPod's or heavy metal for that matter incur the wrath of God. It is just common sense not to wear any electrical device while in a thunderstorm, whatever your religious or superstitious beliefs and awesome taste is music."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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