Bourn-ill - Cadbury's Ethical Salmonella Chocolate Bar

Funny story written by Jaffa Forbes

Monday, 16 July 2007

image for Bourn-ill - Cadbury's Ethical Salmonella Chocolate Bar
The effects of eating Cadbury's New 'Salmonella' Flavour Chocolate

BIRMINGHAM - Whilst the country stuff themselves full to bursting point with dodgy high priced Weight Watcher and Slim-Fast products, the Birmingham manufacturer of top quality chocolate has revealed in a press conference that they deliberately made 42 people ill as a PR stunt, showing their dedication to healthy eating.

Critics have claimed this U-turn in policy is simply a cheap way to wiggle their way out of legal fines created by bad quality control systems.

'For too long,' said a spokesman for the chocolate firm, 'Have the people of Britain been complacent in eating unhealthy foods. These are the days of green gas, wind farms, tomatoes and soya beans!'

Cadbury's stated they purposefully leaked dirty dishwater into the system, not only as a careful marketing stunt, but also as a sincere altruistic statement against an ever increasing 'fat' society.

When asked by a reporter how this ethical stance could possibly help their sales - considering the £1m hygiene fine and the clear contradictory statement with the chocolates Cadbury's produce - a spokesman for the company went 'a little red' and muttered something under his breath which may or may not have been - 'Yes, well, that's what I told them...'

This latest story has more twists than a Curly Wurly, is as nutty as Fruit & Nut Bar, and has more layers than a Double Decker.

But whatever bad chocolate pun you use for this story, one certain thing is Cadbury's attempt to go Green has made their name Blacks.

Jaffa Forbes
Almost a top 1000 writer!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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