Protect Yourself from Terroristic Toothpaste

Written by BerlyGirl

Monday, 16 July 2007

With the recent recalls and health concerns in China, more Americans than ever are concerned about the safety of their own toothpaste here at home. Here are three tips for protecting your family from toothpaste terrors.

  1. Use only toothpaste you know and trust.

    While Texas Toothpick brand toothpaste might sound tempting, it isn't as reliable as Colgate or Crest. Additionally, Dental Specialist Ginny E. Namaele warns, "Besides being unfamiliar, Texas Toothpick Toothpaste has been known to contain actual toothpicks."

  2. Don't let pets use the family toothpaste.

    Fido's mouth might kill anything he finds on his groin, but that doesn't make dog slobber safe for the kiddies. Keep the dog and human toothpastes separate, and preferably in totally different rooms of the house.

  3. Don't recycle your toothpaste.

    As more families are trying to make their middle-income salaries stretch farther, dentists are seeing a rise in toothpaste recycling. "It's tempting to spit on Brother's toothbrush so he can lather up without squeezing the tube again," admits Dr. Harry Lhip, a Shanghai-American dentist practicing in New York. But the increased risk of spreading disease isn't worth the few cents you're saving.

Prevention is the key to maintaining good dental hygiene. By following these three tips, you too can become an important part of the fight against toothpaste terrorism at home.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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