There were 85 spoof news stories published in April 2006. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Mr McMahon Chairman of the WWE calls Satan to help
Mr. McMahon The chairman of the WWE is asking the Devil himself for help in his tag team match against Sean Michaels and GOD at the next RAW PPV which is Backlash.Read full story
Beckham Confesses: "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Affecting My Game"
Three days after admitting to suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), footballer David Beckham has revealed that, in addition to feeling uneasy when there's one two many Pepsi cans in his fridge or when the chairs in his living room a...Read full story
Illegal Immigration Solution Borders on Genius
EL PASO, TX (UPI)-U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officials are finalizing plans for a new strategy aimed at resolving the out-of-control illegal immigration dilemma plaguing America's workforce, economy and way of life.Read full story
Chris Quentin crane plan misfires
Plans to hoist the former Coronation Street star Chris Quentin into the skylight of a brand new luxury set of apartments on the world's largest crane have had to be cancelled due to escalating costs.Read full story
Iraq Murder Rate Approaching Washington DC Levels
After three years into George W. Bush's "Liberation" of Iraq, the levels of violence in Baghdad seem to be rapidly approaching those found in the streets of Washington DC.Read full story
Prime Time News: Katie Couric to Bare More Than Soul in Playboy Photospread
NEW YORK (CBSNEWS)-Heads will soon be a-turnin' in the direction of soon-to-be CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric. But eyes will focus not so much on the television screen as across the glossy ‘naughty newsless' pages of...Read full story
Gospel of Judas: Selections
Fresno, CA: Following fast on the heels of the commercial success of the Da Vinci Code and forty three books about Mary Magdalene, news of the finished translation of a gospel attributed to Judas Iscariot, known to history as the betrayer of Jesus,...Read full story
Jury Urged To Tickle Moussaoui To Death
Reuters (24/04/05) - Prosecutors in the trial of al-Qaeda conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui have urged the jury to condemn him to death by tickling.Read full story
Sir Alan Sugar Tells UK Prime Minister, "You're Fired!"
Following his recent public appearances on the well documented series "the apprentice", Sir Alan " look sunshine, grew up in the East End didn't I" Sugar, was playing down today the confirmation, that he has FIRED the current prime minister of the UK...Read full story
Mary Magdalen Condemns The Da Vinci Code
New York City -- Mary Magdalen, recently risen from the dead, held a press conference in Times Square yesterday to condemn the forthcoming movie The Da Vinci Code. Wearing a Vera Wang red toga and Jimmy Choo gold sandals, she clutched a Kate Spade...Read full story
Hippie Terrorists Seize Coffee Shop, Objectives Unclear
Burlington, VT April 24 - FBI agents have apprehended a small group of left wing terrorists who apparently took possession of a Starbucks coffee shop in this small Vermont city. At least eight hostages were in the store when it was seized, though all...Read full story
Rumsfeld calls for Rumsfeld's Resignation
Donald Rumsfeld, the US defence secretary whose resignation has been called for by an increasing number of retired generals, citizens, and government officials over the past week due to his handling of the Iraq war, has joined the cries for his ousti...Read full story
Howard Stern Indicted by Aliens!
For the once self-proclaimed "King of all Media," his recent departure from the stifling rules that go with terrestrial-bound towers to the unbridled excitement promised by satellite transmission is proving, regrettably, even more exciting than even...Read full story
Wal-Mart and China Announce Merger
Chinese President Jiang Zemin, Chinese Premier Zhu Rhongji, Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott, and Chief Executive of Wal-Mart Asia Joe Hatfield announced the merger of the world's largest corporation with the world's most populous nation. Although China and W...Read full story
Deadly Bird-Brain virus smites Desperate Fishwives UK audiences
London, Friday April 7 2006 - (Associated Mess): Scientists at the London office of the World Health Organization have warned that a new strain of the lethal bird-brain flu virus has mutated and is now attacking otherwise sensible British women of a...Read full story
Condoleeza Rice Accepts Role In Vampire Movie
Now that Dick Cheney has come out in public and said he would never accept Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice as his future Vice President, she has been looking around for a change of career.Read full story
Pope's Easter message: "It's a miracle we got away with it"
Vatican City, Italy; Easter Sunday 16 April 2006 -(Associated Mess): An official statement today by the Chief Inquisitor at the Pontifical Prefecture of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith has confirmed that His Infallibility Pope &...Read full story
Cheney To Head Mafia
Following the recent arrest of Bernardo Provenzano, former head of the Mafia, a vacuum was created soon to be filled by retiring Vice President Dick Cheney. Mr. Provenzano eluded the police (real thing, not old singing group) for the last 43 years, w...Read full story
Bush hires former Iraqi Minister of Information to replace McClellan
WASHINGTON DC - Shortly after White House press secretary Scott McClellan announced his resignation Wednesday, President Bush told the White House press corps that Iraq's former Minister of Information under Saddam Hussein, Mohammed Saeed al-Saha...Read full story
Diets proven to work! Or do they?
Shockwaves rippled through the diet industry yesterday as new findings by the University of Liverpool were released about the effectiveness of diets. Shockingly the report was unequivocal in its support of diets, especially crash diets, to lose weig...Read full story
Tom Cruise Charged With Cannibalism
The acting career of Tom Cruise appeared to take a turn for the worse after the birth of his and Katie Holmes's new baby girl.Read full story
Chaos Theory Of American Inventor
All Hell broke loose during the taping of the latest episode of "American Inventor." For those who are not familiar with the show, it is "American Idol" with inventors instead of singers. Viewers tune in to see a lighthearted look at some cool gadg...Read full story
Michael Jackson Rebuys Neverland To Enrich Uranium
NEVERLAND (Reuters) - President Michael Jackson says Neverland wishes to achieve industrial-scale uranium enrichment, setting it on a collision course with the US government which now fears the former king of pop intends to produce an atomic bomb and...Read full story
Freed foreign criminals on the run crisis: deportation looms
London, Saturday 29 April 2006, (Associated Mess): The Metropolitan Police has confirmed today that it is about to take drastic action on the fiasco of missing foreign ex-prisoners on the run who have so far escaped deportation. And top of their...Read full story
Wikipedia Purchases Football Team
In order to boost the number of pageviews on its failing website, online dictionary Wikipedia has purchased an English football team.Read full story
Chevrolet Scrap Production Of Airplane-Shaped Car
Chevrolet have abandoned plans to make their controversial new airplane-shaped car available to the public following safety concerns that arose during pre-production testing.Read full story
King Kong, CPA, Storms out of Enron Trial
Houston, TX - Declaring "It's a jungle in there," King Kong, CPA, stormed out of a Houston courtroom and held a press conference on the courthouse steps. Chiding his fellow accountants for their misdeeds and lack of ethics, he announce...Read full story
Prescott: The Abuse of Office Carpet
BELEAGURED Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott today hit back over claims by a carpet cleaning company that he "stained, soiled and abused" his office rugs whilst conducting an illicit affair with a government employee.Read full story
George Bush Takes A Leak On The American People
The Supreme Court Judges who ensconced George W. Bush into the Whitehouse are turning in their graves tonight after one of the greatest insults ever to have been perpetrated against the American people by a sitting president.Read full story
Prescott: "Affair was a Mistake"
John Prescott (UK Deputy Prime Minister) has been caught red faced in an uncompromising position with Tracey Temple, one of his secretaries, it was reported last night. When challenged, Mr Prescott (67) was happy to confess to having the affair but...Read full story
In her birthday suit
London, 19 April 2006 - (Associated Mess): A new portrait of Betty Von Battenburg has been released ahead of official celebrations to commemorate the 80th birthday of the late Princess Elizabeth Windsor, who died tragically along with her parents K...Read full story
Billionaire political activist to start new Newsy.
Raids presumptive rival for talent.Read full story
Junior did a line of coke with Cretin
Washington DC, Wednesday 26 April 2006 - (Associated Mess): A drastic damage limitation exercise is under way in the corridor of power at the White House today following the publication of damning photographs of President George Bush Jr inciting a G...Read full story
Eliminate the Rainforest
Way back when, there existed a paradise home to over half the known species. A blanket of green gently enriched our planet with mystical plants, trees, and shrubs that even the lowly of species, such as a harvest spider, devotedly dwelled in the enamored beauty of these lands. This paradise exists today to which we refer to as the rainforest. From Central America, the Amazon, Africa, to Souther...Read full story
Persia Rising - America and Western Europe put on notice.
Ali-McBealystan Network News-Iran has its back hunched, raring to take on the West, and its arsenal this go around doesn't mainly consist of hostile words, backstabbing freedom fighters and suicidal human wavesRead full story
Re-arranging the deckchairs on the Titanic...
Washington DC, Thursday 27 April 2006 -(Associated Mess): The Iraqi Horror Picture Show took a mildly satirical turn for the hearse yesterday with the appointment of President George Bush's new anchor man Tony 'The Blizzard' Snow.Read full story
New Study: Global Warming Caused by Hot Air from Washington, D.C.
Amid dire warnings by experts, that climate change is resulting in the deaths of penguins and polar bears, George Bush asserted, Wednesday, that Global Warming is not all bad. The imminent melting of polar regions, and Greenland's Ice sheet will mak...Read full story
Harry plans new Diana Memorial Fountain
Clarence House, London; Friday 28 April 2006 - (Associated Mess): The House of Mountbatten has announced this morning that a public outrcy has confirmed that young Prince Harry has not milked the memory of the late Diana, Princess of Wales enough, n...Read full story
Man who woke up after six years in a coma not happy
A Beluxi, Mississippi man who recently woke up after almost six years in a coma is reportedly not happy and has requested that his doctors make him unconscious again.Read full story
US Dollar Falls as Bankers Buy Beanie Babies, Smurfs and Teletubbies
NEW YORK (AP) -- The US dollar fell sharply against other foreign currencies on Wednesday as central bankers throughout the world sold off their dollar reserves and bought beanie babies, smurfs, and teletubbies instead.Read full story
1841 Census to Provide Missing Clues to civilisation on the Earth
Genealogists revel in solving the mystery surrounding the family history of human kind following the online publication of the 1841 Census of England and Wales.Read full story
Interview of the Year, Part One: Dr. Mason Mason meets blue blooded royalty in David Murray.
For this Passed Master the opportunity to interview Rangers’ chairman, founder and owner of MIM and fifth degree legend, David Murray, is a rare pleasure –one that becomes few journalists. The consideration of a Level One menu at dinner –an honour spared for certain people of our own persuasions and (of outsiders) those of the most difficult persuasion- as an interval to our discussions, a culinar...Read full story
Cherie: it was nits
London, Monday 24 April 2006 - (Associated Mess): Downing Street has admitted today that the exorbitant cost of grooming Cherry Bush QC during the 2005 general election was due to an infestation of lice which had taken refuge in Mrs Blair's c...Read full story
Identity of BT Bidder Revealed
Shares in the UK telecommunications giant BT Group rose this morning four per cent on reports that the ex government owned utility could soon become a takeover target.Read full story
Secret White House memos leaked: President George W. Bush to trade hostages for arms with Iran, and
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Confidential memos leaked to The Spoof reveal that the White House Crisis Management Team has devised a plan to resolve the Iranian arms dispute. The plan - coded as "Super Ultra Top-Secret" - details a way to "undo...Read full story
Cherie Blair Shaves Head!
Today, amidst much controversy over the cost to the U.K prime minister's wife's hairdressing costs during the last general election campaign, (allegedly totalling some £7000 per hair follicle, per day), a press statement was issued by the Labour par...Read full story
Queen to Star in "Dallas movie"
Buckingham Palace today confirmed speculation that Queen Elizabeth II is to have a starring role in the new movie version of the hit 1980's TV series "Dallas".Read full story
Chinese President causes confusion for Bush administration
WASHINGTON DC --- Chinese President Hu Jintao was the cause of a frenzied search yesterday when Bush administration officials were unable to locate the visiting leader, who was supposed to fly to Seattle, Washington later in the evening.Read full story
George W. Bush Ousted In Military Coup
A day of high drama in Washington DC has seen the US Dollar reach its highest value against the Euro since 1999 and retired Army Major General John Batiste ensconced in the Oval Office as "Caretaker" president.Read full story
Gazprom warns the world to let them Blow
Gazprom, one of the main suppliers of natural gas to Europe, has warned that blocking its plans to expand methane production across the region will advance global warming.Read full story
Iranians Sapping & Impurifying America's Precious Bodily Fluids.
Sources in the Pentagon this week have told reporters that America's military concern with Iran is about more than mere nuclear proliferation. According to these sources, the Defense Department identified Iran as a threat nearly two years ago, when i...Read full story
Margaret's baubles go under the hammer and sickle
Kensington Palace, London: Tuesday 11 April 2006 - (Associated Mess): Baubles once worn by Princess Margaret are to be sold off at auction later this year as the taxman finally catches up with descendants of the late HRH, whose demise in 2002 sent...Read full story
Plan to Control Fashion Criminals
A national register of fashion offenders could be set up as part of a massive crackdown to keep the public safe from hideous outfits, Home Secretary Charles Clarke says.Read full story
Parties hire comedians to spice up speeches
In an obvious election year move, the Democratic and Republican parties have hired veteran comedians to add some much needed flair to political speeches and congressional debates.Read full story
Bush buys Mazda's new "pot smuggler" minivan
WASHINGTON - President Bush invested Monday in a Stasher, Mazda's new "pot smuggler" minivan model, and he confirmed plans to hit the road for spring break this year, his first such trip in three years.Read full story
World leaders mourn unexpected suicide of Sinn Fein lifestyle guru
London, Thursday 6 April 2006 - (Associated Mess): A feeling of utter shmuck and incomprehension prevails in the corridors of power in Whitehall and Capitol Hill today as the world comes to terms with the sudden and totally mysterious, unexpected...Read full story
Back to the beginning: Broke-dick Mountin'.
(From the depths of crassitude, Ang(st) Lee pulls a gem out of his, um, hat.)...Read full story
April in Paris
It's April in Paris. It's also close to the birth of highly anticipated Hollywood 'superbaby' Pitt Jr. Brangelina - the name sounds like a breakfast cereal - decided to have the child in Paris as a tribute to Jolie's Mom, Michelle...Read full story
Bush said to be mulling over authorizing "third-rate burglary"
A senior source within the Bush administration contends that President Bush is considering a secret operation to break into Democratic National Headquarters in the Watergate Hotel in Washington DC some time before the November mid-term elections.Read full story
Subway Takes A Bath
Well-known submarine sandwich joint Subway has blown over $3,000,000 on plans for new stores out to sea.Read full story
White House Announces New Immigration Policy
Washington D.C. -- With new immigration legislation deadlocked in Congress, the White House today announced that immigration policies will now be decided by a joint Homeland Security Agency/FEMA/NSA panel to be named by President George W. Bush.Read full story
London Holds Tryouts For New Olympic Sports
With anticipation of the 2012 Olympics - which are to be held in London - growing every day, London's Honorary Olympic Committee has decided that the '12 Olympics should be full of change and difference. Therefore, all next week ideas for new...Read full story
Kofi Annan Endorses Mugabe Plan
Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe has introduced a UN resolution proposing senior individuals from an independent group of countries be appointed to ensure there is no repeat of the fiasco leading to an un-elected US president.Read full story
Augusta To Be Turned Into One Big Bunker For 2007 Masters
Next year's US Masters will be contested on the first course in major championship history consisting entirely of sand. Tournament organisers announced on Tuesday that the grass across all 18 holes at the famous Augusta National will be uprooted...Read full story
George W. Bush Taken Into Custody
Washington DC -- George W. Bush's presidency came to a sensational, ignominious and premature end today after witnesses reported seeing him running amuck through the corridors of the Whitehouse.Read full story
Camilla's anniversary joy as Philip is sent to old folks' home
Clarence House, London; Wednesday 5 April 2006 -(Associated Mess): Charles' and Camilla's official website - Pretenders 'R' Us Dot Con - has today posted preview details of the couple's forthcoming first wedding anniversary cele...Read full story
Darren Day in revolving door incident.
The musical actor and former ‘You Bet' presenter...Read full story
Adams to get Order of the Gutter in 80th birthday honours
Buckingham Palace, London; Thursday 20 April 2006 - (Associated Mess): Provisional IRA leader Gerry Adams is widely tipped to be awarded the Order of the Gutter in the 80th Birthday celebrations at Buckingham Palace tomorrow.Read full story
Bush Sells More U.S. Cities
President George "Dubbya" Bush was accused this morning in the New York Times, for arranging to sell U.S. cities to Islamic nations for large sums of cash, oil and a lifetime supply of pretzels. Suspicions arose after the Associate Mess; an undergro...Read full story
Bird Dies from Bird Flu Shock
Government health officials are on Red Alert following reports that a bird has died from bird flu. The Bird, a swan living in a loch in Scotland, became ill and then died. Friends of the swan are still in shock but issued the following statem...Read full story
Blair & Hewitt advise hospital trusts
Biscuits and coffee in the NHS are to become rationed under strict new spending regulations proposed by Tony Blair, we can announce. "For many months now we have cut back on everything to save money" said one manager, who preferred to remai...Read full story
President Seeks Crack Commando Unit to Capture Bin Laden.
President Bush made a visit to Los Angeles today, seeking assistance in capturing well-known terrorist Osama Bin Laden. In a speech before a GOP audience, Bush stated his intention to locate a good "crack commando unit" willing to be hired by someone...Read full story
The Queen has revealed she wants just one thing for her 80th birthday - a Caravan
As she toured the BBC's Broadcasting House, the monarch disclosed that she had a particular request for a present, and was keen on having a cosy holiday retreat somewhere in the southwest, possibly Weston-super-Mare.Read full story
Missing Spoof Writer spotted throughout the West
Seattle, Washington - "She was wearing a blonde wig, and had no make-up on, but, we could tell it was her. We surprised her when we called her by name, and she ran screaming from the building."...Read full story
Crothorp, Inc. Makes "Great Humanitarian Decision".
Thousands starve, or turn to begging, crime, and thievery.Read full story
Spoof writer disappears from Seattle hospital
Seattle, Washington - It was suppose to be just an over night, short-stay, follow up visit… it turned out to be any thing but….Read full story
Arafat was promised peerage
London, Monday 10 April 2006 - (Associated Mess): Downing Street distanced itself today from continuing press reports that PLO leader Yasser Arafat bankrolled the Labour Party's 1997 general election landslide win with a series of loans and bur...Read full story
Blairs' Opus Dei Confessor invokes Rite of Spring
London, 4 April 2006 - (Associated Mess): The Prime Minister's official spokesperson has issued a categorical "No Comment" on UK press reports this weekend that the Blairs regularly worship at their official residence according to...Read full story
Congress to vote on Chihuahua Bill
A fearsome fissure is developing in the GOP over a bill that would send millions of Chihuahuas back to Mexico, pitting Republican against Republican, with President Bush backing a measure that would allow some Chihuahuas to stay in the US on a tempor...Read full story
BBC Reveal Brainwashing Plans
British Broadcasting Company? More like the British Brainwashing Facility!...Read full story
Interpol Arrest 'Piano' Murderer
A team of detectives from Interpol have finally apprehended the notorious 'Piano Murderer', the ghoulish fiend whose trademark has been to leave a piano in the lining of his victim's suit.Read full story
Unknown Prankster Fools Entire UK, Self
Warning: Don't talk to your toilet today, unless you want to look like a fool! These words are usually true, but today they are even more true than ever before. An unknown scammer with a phone book has been calling every number he can find and in...Read full story
Soothsayers warn House of Mountbatten of imminent disaster
London, Saturday 1 April 2006 - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): The annual UK gathering of Bards, Soothsayers and Interpreters of the Splayed Organic Intestines at the Hellfire Club's Gloucestershire HQ at Highgrove House has rocked its audience...Read full story
Press Secretary Scott McClellan unexpectedly dumped.
Search for a replacement heats up!...Read full story